Bad parents? Exercise your Feminazi-given right to choose!

So last night in a state of serious lethargy, I decided to turn on the TV for primetime Sunday. As I was flipping through the channels, I landed on Stone Philips, imposing some stupid special feature on us, his viewers, with that condescending inflection he uses which makes whatever dumbass story they’re about to cover the most exciting thing ever. Last night, the theme of the show was, “All in the Family” a title which I had to sit through at least two dozen times — this huge, shitty image that some intern did in Photoshop that basically looked like it belonged on the box of a wok (yeah, I’m not kidding — it looked like the flag of Japan with oriental-style letters, “All in the Family”). They showed this POS before and after commercial breaks, and they had the nerve to interrupt the commercials and flash the stupid logo in front of Stone’s obnoxious narrative. Okay, shit details about the show aside, let’s move on to the stories they covered.

1) “Jenny, My Wild Pre-teen is Headed For the Crime Scene, please help!” No bullshit, that’s what this story was about. It’s about these two fuckstick teachers from Texas who had one real child (a sufficiently attractive blonde girl) and then decided to adopt a Romanian. From my own experience, the only Romanian I know seemed to suffer from these same problems that I’m about to describe, so I’m assuming they’re all just a bunch of cocks over there (end sweeping generalization). And let me tell you, this kid they adopted sure was a winner — way to know how to pick ‘em, mom and dad! Turns out the kid had mild brain damage from 1) his mother boozing it up like a fat kid eat cake while this obnoxious little turd was in the womb, and 2) serious malnutrition at the Romanian orphanage. Now, I do exert a small shred of sympathy for #2, because the poor kids can’t help it… I guess in theory the kid couldn’t help swimming in an 80 proof womb either… screw it, I’m digressing.

The point of this story isn’t that this Romanian kid is a total loser, it’s about how completely retarded his parents are. Kid’s out of control? You’re god-fearing Texans, do the right thing and beat him! Seriously, you should have seen the way this little bastard behaved — he would literally scream and throw tantrums for like, three, four hours at a time. Yeah, unbelievable. His parents would just sit there like dumbasses and take it. Yeah, right. The first time your kid decides to be a little asshole and scream like a bitch for more than five minutes, you give ‘em the good ol’ backhand and shut him up there and then. Nothing induces obedience better than a little TLC.

Okay, this isn’t about endorsing parents beating their kids (although for that kid, it might have done him some good). The real problem with this kid is that he’s too stupid to make sense about pretty much anything. Any time something didn’t go his way or he didn’t understand something, which being brain damaged meant quite often, he’d go into one of these stubborn little tantrums. Now, I think this kid was exceptional because of the severity and duration of his pissy fits, but I don’t think this result is uncommon.

When you get a couple of dumbass adults who don’t know shit from shinola having children, you get this kind of bullshit. The fact that they’re both teachers surprised me, because it didn’t look like they had taught this kid anything. They had to call in a specialist (who, no kidding, calls himself “The Emperor”) to tell them that, “you need to help your son express his anguish in different ways. When he is upset about something, teach him how to effectively get across what’s wrong without going into a fit”). Oh dear god, all hail the emperor’s brilliance! Give me a fuckin’ break. The guy gets paid to say that to parents? No wonder there are so many people growing up to vote democratic — if there are enough parents this incompetent, genetics aside, it’s no surprise that they are raising the next generation of buffoons.

I think it’s child abuse to have a child when you are inept at raising children. Seems a whole lot of people are. It’s one thing to pay for children and support them financially. It’s another thing to sculpt them into useful human beings. I think that’s where most people probably fail as parents because they themselves are inadequate at life. Most parents don’t take the time to explain pretty much anything, or the explanations they give are as phony and mindless as their own mindless understandings of the world and everything in it. Really folks, I never really thought about it, but it’s true — the fact that we allow morons to raise children has lulled the human species into a perpetual cycle of stupidity and ignorance, due to bad and inadequate parenting. These two teachers in Texas are a classic example of complete inepts having license not only to produce one child but actually take someone else’s and ruin it. Sure, they got a bad apple, that’s for sure — the kid’s brain damaged, for crying out loud. I’m not saying that their job was easy, but I think for most people even the easy jobs (i.e. bright children) are too difficult.

Yes, I’m convinced. Stupid people should not be allowed to reproduce; or rather, they can reproduce, but once they have they shouldn’t be allowed to pollute their offspring. Stupidity is contagious; let somebody who isn’t a fuckstick raise your kids if you’re an idiot. Do the right thing — let a nice, smart, infertile couple have a white baby who constantly falls beneath the standards that you know your own would-be genetic offspring surely would have set.