Girls are finally catching on

http://www.townhall.com/Columnists/Column.aspx?ContentGuid=fd2ded08-9340-4dd7-9115-004d063a18e7

What suckers.

Looks like 10 years later, girls are finally catching on to the fact that female sexual liberation has done nothing for women and everything for men.  In your vain and foolish desire, ladies, to prove your equality to men you gave up the only power you ever had: pussy.

It made the world go ’round and you’re giving it away for free.  But hey, you’re equal, right?  Was sacrificing any chance of happiness in life worth some ideals you inherited from your bitchy, feminist, divorced mother?

In a world where men will do anything for pussy, why in the world do you require that we do nothing?

I’m sorry, but ladies, you’re not fit for political office.

Safety Net

If something catastrophic were to happen to you in such a way that you were no longer able to support yourself, who will bail you out?

Let’s say, hypothetically, that in some strange twist of circumstances, regardless of the preparations you’ve made to protect yourself against, say, defaulting on your mortgage, you were suddenly unable to pay your bills and you faced serious problems (e.g., foreclosure, eviction, starving on the street).

Don’t analyze it, just answer.  Your gut reaction: it should take only nanoseconds to conjure a name.  Who is your safety net?

Your answer is more important than you think.  Here are the common ones:

1. Parents.  In my own case, my parents are financially secure and my relationship with them is strong.  If disaster struck, my parents will be there for me.
2. Sister.  While she doesn’t have a lifetime of savings or the annual income my parents have, she would bail me out on a short term basis if I was facing losing my shit.
3. Girlfriend: She’s not financially secure at all so she doesn’t have any money, but she might be able to convince her parents to loan me some.  Of course, that’s probably assuming my sister and parents are dead.
4. Friends: it would kill me to ask but I could probably get some short term loans from people if it came to that.

Not on the list: the federal government.

I bet it wasn’t what came to your mind either.

But people like Hillary Clinton want to replace your family’s role as your personal safety net – your support network – your family and your friends.  If you ask her, she’ll tell you that she wants to provide that safety net for people who don’t have one.

To the beneficiary of such an arrangement, I ask two questions: first, why don’t you have a safety net, and second, why should I act as yours?

I say ‘I’ because it’s people like you and me who pay for it through outrageous taxation.

The first question is too complex to even begin to touch upon, and it’s really an opinion based question anyway.  I would have to say it’s the American modern rejection of family: who needs ‘em?  Think about the next time you don’t return their calls.

The second: I shouldn’t.  I don’t believe that I should.  Call it lack of compassion but I don’t feel like I owe random strangers who “fall on hard times” anything.  They have nothing to do with me or my life.  Why should my “hard work” (i.e., my endurance challenge of being chained to a desk for 9 hours a day, 5 days a week) bail out people who have failed at life?

Make your own safety net.  If you think the government should fill that role, you’ve really lost sight of your own humanity.  Government is a cold, lifeless, distant, inorganic entity which serves as nothing more than an ATM.  Your family (or friends, if you don’t have a family) is your blood.  It’s flesh.  They should be your safety net.

Rape LOL

Some dumbass girl is sleeping in a basement at her boyfriend’s house.  His brother gets into bed with her in the dark and screws her.  She enjoys it so much that she moans her “boyfriend’s” name.  After he’s done and slinks out, her eyes apparently have adjusted to the dark and she sees, OMG, it’s his brother!  OH NOES!  911?  I WAS RAPED.

I’m not making this up

The best part?  Her case was dismissed.  In Massachusettes, no less.  Maybe there is some sanity returning to the world.

Of course, if you listen to the chorus of dumb bitches out there, they are crying to have the laws changed.

Let’s get this straight:

1. You are sleeping in a house occupied by more than one man.
2. You are awoken in the middle of the night by a stiff cock.
3. You let said stiff cock enter you without taking the time to check to whom it’s attached.  You put up no physical or verbal resistance and by any 3rd party measure, you consented to the dicking.
4. You moan a lot and evidently enjoy it.
5. You realize you’re a dumbass and just got  fucked by the wrong man.
6. You dial 9-1-1 and claim rape, fully prepared to testify in court that he raped you because even though you let him screw you, you thought he was someone else.  Therefore, this man is guilty and should be put in prison for at least 5 years.

So basically, because this dumb whore didn’t look before she leapt, it was somehow this guy’s fault.  In other words, we, as men, have a legal responsbility to protect women from their own incompetence.  Am I wrong?  Is this interpretation factually inaccurate?  It feels like every time a woman gets a new right, it’s just one more responsibility that men need to shoulder to keep these girls from being hurt.  I mean, hell, look at the modern workplace.  It has evolved into a place where you have to walk on your toes all the time to make sure you might not possibly offend the sensibilities of some girl who might start crying and sue the company.

When girls pull this bullshit every minute of every day, they lose a lot of respect in the eyes of men.  I’m not defending this loser brother — I think he’s a total perv loser — but the blame is on both sides of the fence.  Everyone who knows anything about women knows exactly what this broad is doing.  She’s trying to cover her ass.  If he raped her, then she’s a victim.  If he didn’t rape her, she’s just a dumbass.  This girl is willing to convict this man of a felony and put him in prison for five years to save herself some embarassment.  This shit happens every single day.

I am so thankful that the court dismissed this case.  I have been sick of listening to these dumb whores ruin men’s lives with bullshit rape charges.  Banged someone you’d be embarassed to admit that you slept with to your circle of friends?  Were you drunk?  “OMG HE RAPED ME (I think).”

Men know this.  In the good old days, rape penalties were far lesser than they are today.  Why?  Because we know how ridiculous, irrational, and absolutely selfish women can be when their social standing is on the line.  And we also know that in rape cases, at least 50% of the time the only evidence is a squishmitten filled with DNA and a he-says-she-says debate in a court room.

Let your boyfriend beat the shit out of his brother.  Considering you apparently enjoyed the sex and are only emotionally damaged, I think a serious beating by your boyfriend and a shunning of the brother by his whole family when they find out what he did is enough punishment, don’t you think?

The Baby Boomers Failed

Let’s be honest with ourselves for a minute here; let’s face it.  The baby boomers is an example of a failed generation.

Can you honestly say that the world is better off today than it was before they took charge?

I mourn the people I see around me who were raised by idiots who bought into the hype of the 1960’s.  Liberalism has destroyed this country.

But how did this happen?  Was it the drinking water or Japanese atomic winds that mutated the young boomers’ genetics into some kind of self-actualized bastardization of humanity?  Personally, I blame Hitler.

Check it out.  Our grandparents, “the finest generation”, were drafted to go kill Nazis in 1942.  This really sucked a lot of ass for them.  Even the ones who were too young to see combat were still immersed in a war culture and looked up to young men who were shaped and hardened by war, discipline, and order.  You did your job or the guy in the foxhole next to you gets his head shot off.  All because Hitler had a tiny dick.  Oh, and he also invaded Poland.

So now you’ve got a society inherited by our grandparents.  You get unions, and somehow we get John F. Kennedy.  Their kids, who were raised to be little soldiers, come to the bright conclusion of, “fuck this shit” and alternatively, “hell no, we won’t go.”  They see how their parents did it — far too “right” — too militaristic, disciplinarian, orderly, fascist — that they have to swing too far left to compensate.  Now you get the 60’s and hippies.

Here’s where everything goes horribly wrong.  And it goes horribly wrong because our parents, in their infinite 20 year-old wisdom, come to the conclusion that drugs are good, sex is good, and doing anything the way it was done before is bad.  The result is the Age of Aquarius and what has become modern liberal thinking.

Of course, modern liberal thinking suffers from a serious problem that nobody ever seems to mention.  The 60’s liberal movement was based on the premise that everything in the past was done wrong and that they alone knew the secret to enlightenment.  Take a step back and think about that for a minute.

Does it sound even remotely feasible to you that a group of kids with longer hair than their parents could possibly know how to live their lives to achieve happiness and fulfillment better than every other generation before them?  I hate to break it to you, kids, but there have been thousands of generations before yours and there will be thousands after.  What makes you so special?

“The times they are a changin’” … but were they?  Our parents, the all-knowing Boomers, decided to discard every ounce of traditional wisdom about how to be happy in life in favor of smoking weed and listening to new edgy music like The Beatles and … *gasp* … Jimmy Hendrix!  Society wasn’t brick and mortar any more — theirs was a generation where ideals were as good as facts.  If you give poor people money, they will use it to escape poverty and help contribute to Utopia.  As long as my drug use doesn’t directly affect anyone else, it should be perfectly legal and will have absolutely no consequences.  Let’s get married for love and only love.  I think there’s a Shakespeare play that says that, right?

Wrong.  You were wrong.  And your children, and everyone else, is paying the price.

If your parents were born in the period between 1940 and 1960, you’re screwed.  You have inherited a world in abject disrepair that we are charged with fixing.  Politically, the Boomers will continue to live and vote themselves into office until we can finally be rid of them and actually bring back some common, instinctual sense.  We live in a Western cultural wasteland that I am afraid we are simply too stupid and incapable to fix.  And why?

Because our parents have no idea how to be happy.  We were raised by them, and they can’t give us any good advice.  They’re all divorced, self-centered, and doped out on anti-depressants.  How are we supposed to know how to live to find happiness?

Look at what the average person in the 40-50 age group did, and …

Here’s where it gets tricky: if you ask a Boomer, he’ll finish that sentence with: “the exact opposite!”

That’s how and why they got themselves into trouble and ruined the world.  They blindly discarded everything their parents knew and did because they knew better.  But they were wrong.  The answer is:

Look at what the average person in the 40-50 age group did, and figure out what made them so unhappy, and avoid that.

The biggest single factor: divorce.  Divorce makes everyone unhappy.

This isn’t an easy task.  You could easily argue that I’m doing exactly what my parents did: reject the old, because I know better.  But there’s a key difference here.  I don’t believe that I know better.  I believe that former generations — my ancestors — did know better.  Unfortunately, the Boomers forgot it all, and my grandparents are dead.  So I’m on my own.

In addition to adamantly rejecting the possibility of divorce, I also reject many of the tenets of Boomer culture.  Here are some that have worked for me so far:

• Forget how something sounds on paper or in theory.  How does it work in practice?  If there’s one value that the Boomers threw away entirely it’s practical thinking.  This is evidenced in everything from romantic for-love marriages up to the war in Iraq.  Sure, in theory, the Iraqis want to be free.  On the planet Earth, they like to worship Allah and kill the other kind of Muslim and have civil wars and gas each other.  In theory, everyone should be free to do whatever they want, but in practice, society suffers.  In theory, socialism is awesome.  In practice, it’s at best capitalism + bribes and at worse, it’s Joe Stalin.  The Boomers couldn’t get around this idea, which is why we have things like Earth Day and the feminist movement.
• Proverbs kick ass.  A bird in the hand is better than two in the bush.  A penny saved is a penny earned.  Look before you leap.  These tiny little sayings were “square” in 1960.  Proverbs contain more truth per sentence than anything you will read anywhere.  In fact, you should leave this blog immediately to go google proverbs.  Read them and use them.  Your life will instantly improve by orders of magnitude.
• Your actions always influence other people.  If you think that you can sit around in your house and smoke heroin all day and that’s okay because you’re not robbing people to pay for it therefore you are not impacting society, you’re wrong.  You are, because your very existence serves as an example to other people.  We are a culture, a society, an a nation, and we are cooperating.  If you choose to do things that contribute to nothing other than your own happiness, you are hurting everyone else.  Because at some level, we’re propping you up.  Here’s a question that a Boomer will never ask: “If everyone is doing what I’m doing, will that be OK for my society?”
• Listen to your heart, not your brain.  Your brain is usually wrong.  Your heart almost never is.  Instincts — gut feelings — are you.  Whatever complex logic and rationale you may use to justify things like buying that shit you don’t need, cheating on your lover, voting for Hillary Clinton, etc., is all bogus.  Your emotions drive you.  Your brain is just along for the ride. 

I could go on forever but I’m already starting to sound preachy.  Take a closer look at the culture your parents created and ask yourself if it’s something you really want to perpetuate.  Let’s forge a better path based on sanity.  That would be totally fetch. 

Boomers: you fucked up.  Thanks a lot.

Society for Cutting Up Men

“Being an incomplete female, the male spends his life attempting to complete himself, to become female. He attempts to do this by constantly seeking out, fraternizing with and trying to live through an fuse with the female, and by claiming as his own all female characteristics — emotional strength and independence, forcefulness, dynamism, decisiveness, coolness, objectivity, assertiveness, courage, integrity, vitality, intensity, depth of character, grooviness, etc — and projecting onto women all male traits — vanity, frivolity, triviality, weakness, etc. It should be said, though, that the male has one glaring area of superiority over the female — public relations. (He has done a brilliant job of convincing millions of women that men are women and women are men). The male claim that females find fulfillment through motherhood and sexuality reflects what males think they’d find fulfilling if they were female.”

Valerie Solanas
Militant Feminist Writer (not to mention convicted felon for the attempted murder of Andy Warhol), 1967

“Ladies whenever you see a member of the opposite sex, immediatly think of how superior you are to him. He lacks all of those feminine qualities that make you so great. Qualities such as:

Intuition
Empathy
Nurturing
Sassiness
Beauty
Love
Sincerity
Compassion, the most important quality of all…and it’s ours!

Instead of trying to compete in a man’s world using masculine qualities, amaze and beguile with your dazzling dame skills. Intuition will serve you in the most ways. Being able to navigate and go with the flow are important qualities in any successful person, and these are abilities built in to women!”

Unnamed female blogger, 2007

Gattaca

If you haven’t seen Gattaca, go rent it, put it on your Netflix list, fire up your favorite Bittorrent client.  Watch that movie, and then read this article (preferably in that order):

boston globe?  eww…

“Slaughter’s bill would prohibit insurers from denying coverage to or raising premiums on a healthy person on the basis of genetic test results. Employers would be forbidden from making hiring or promotion decisions on the basis of genetic information. The measure would apply nationwide but would not prevent states from enacting tougher bills — as Massachusetts already has.”

I won’t spoil the film if you haven’t seen it.  It is one of the more profound science fiction films ever created because it is so close to happening.  Ladies and gentlemen, we are living in a time when science fiction is beginning to become reality.  Pay attention.

Gattaca tells the story of a world of genetically maximized designer babies where your artificially selected genetic attributes determine your fate in life.  Today is 2007, and the first laws barring genetic discrimination are making their way on to the books.  Ladies and gentlemen, we are less than one generation removed from Gattaca.  If you are in your 20’s reading this, there is a very high probability that your grandchildren will be genetically designed in a laboratory.

Is there anything we can really do to stop it?  Gattaca’s narrator makes references to the very laws that the United States of 2007 are passing, and also notes that, “but nobody pays attention to the laws.  A DNA sample can be lifted from a dixie cup, an eyelash, even your fingerprint on the door handle.”

I believe the Gattaca world (most likely sans the aerospace corporation) is a social experiment that we, as a society, as a culture, and as the human race is going to have to live through, like it or not.  No matter what we do to try to stop it, every instinct we have as living creatures dictated by evolution is to create and care for offspring with the greatest possible chance for survival.  If you think mothers out there won’t stop at nothing to ensure their children can “be all they can be” all you need to do is take a look at the lunacy going on in public schools.  You probably remember all of the dumbass kids in honors classes in high school who were there because their parents wrote letters to the principal.  Parents will stop at nothing to give their children the best possible shot at being successful.  Today they are still forced to work with the raw material their kids were given.  I don’t think anyone who has their feet planted in the ground and their eyeballs open would even think for a minute that this kind of genetic mix’n'match — the world of Gattaca — won’t happen.  It will.  And soon.  And it will regardless of whether it’s legal or not. 

Knowing that the understanding of human genetics in its entirety is only a few decades away, and faced with the prospect of human empowerment to artificially select our own genetics, perhaps the more interesting question is this: should we let all of this happen?

One of my favorite quotes of all time is the line issued by Malcolm in Jurassic Park when responding to Hammond:

Hammond: Our scientists have done something that nobody has ever done before.

Malcolm: Yeah.  And your scientists were so busy trying to see if they could, they never stopped for a minute and asked if they should!

Pay attention, folks.  These are our times, and they’re moving faster than you think.  Are you ready for them?

A new cologne for men

For some reason, I always smell more like a man after I’ve mowed my lawn.  My girlfriend’s panties moisten when she gets a whiff of the freshly mowed lawn — not the grass, but me — the stench of the post-lawn-mowing me.  “Ooh, you smell sexy!  So rugged!”  I’ve tried to figure out why this is for the longest time.  Could it be the glass clippings?  The sweatened brow?  The male pheremones from my armpits?  A combination of the three?

No.  None of the above.

What is this mystery aroma you may ask?

It can’t be any of the above for the simple reason that she hates the smell of clippings and I sweat when I chop down large tress with only a blunt axe and also when I rough her up in the sack.

I’ve narrowed it down to one thing:

Yes, ladies and gentlemen.  Good old fashioned gasoline.

Even though I bought a “no spill” gas can, it still spills all over my right hand without fail every time I fill the tank up.  The smell of gasoline is that rugged 5-o’clock shadow man smell of which men with big power tools and big power dicks reek after a long day of doing manly things like cutting up shit with chainsaws, working on cars, and shaving their faces.

I bet you that if you rubbed a small bit of gasoline all over your neck and went to a club, the girls would ditch their popped-collar metrosexual drink-buying tools to nuzzle against your gasoline-smelling stubble and imagine how big and forceful your reciprocating hammer drill must be.  I’ve even thought of a marketing slogan.  This shit practically sells itself:

START HER ENGINE

Fill an 8oz container that looks exactly like this with 87 octane, and sell it for $70.  It will keep working until it catches on and the guys from Calvin Klein commercials start wearing it.  But by then, you’ve already made millions of dollars.

Why are you blogging?

“I don’t have anything to say today, to be honest.”

Then why the hell did you post?  Why do you even have a blog?  If you ever find yourself typing out that you don’t have anything to say, pause for a moment and ask this basic question: if I don’t have anything to say, do my readers have anything to read?  I want the 0.5 seconds of my life devoted to reading “I don’t have anything to say” back.  Given my current hourly rate, you owe me 0.00461 cents.

I am so sick of these story-of-my-life blogs.  Nobody gives a shit which socks you wore today or how you fretted away another evening of your life doing unimportant, routine things that thousands or millions of people exactly like you have done before and will do again ad infinitum.  We don’t need a running narrative.

If your blog ever, ever describes something you’ve been doing with yourself that 99% of the people who read your blog have also done without portraying it in such a way as to make the post interesting in and of itself and/or preferably adding your own, unique insight, you are robbing readers of their most precious commodity: time. 

Thanks a lot Genevieve.  With a name like Genevieve I expected something more interesting than this:

I haven’t slept much this week for one reason or another. Last night’s reason was I was going to try to pull an all- nighter and study for my French test I have today. I gulped down 2 Red Bulls left over from that Over It show in Norfolk way back but after the first one, realised my room still had muchorganising to do so I started organising my pictures. Of which I have about 6 very large shoe boxes (think boxes that stored knee- high boots) filled with random pictures, albums, et cetera. I was insanely jittery and ended up only being able to have enough of an attention span to switch over some laundry and put up some pictures on my Facebook. (Of which I shall only provide access to for those of you that have them if you email me. Otherwise, no thanks.)

I think I just lost a few IQ points.