Dr. Maya Angelou endorses Clinton.

Watch this:

http://www.hillaryclinton.com/video/35.aspx

Uh oh, it’s Maya Angelou, the darling of modern liberal arts college English departments everywhere.  Let’s hear what sparkling pearls of wisdom and concrete, to-the-point reasons why she supports Hillary Clinton [and why you should too]:

 ”I know her as a woman… and she makes me very proud.  I am proud that she gives herself the authority to be in her own skin.  To be who she is.  Each one, teach one, we say.  Well, each time a woman stands up for herself, withut knowing it possibly, without claiming it, she stands up for all women.”

You may be thinking to yourself: “what the fuck does that mean?”

Well, ladies and gentlemen, sharpen your pencils because it’s time to vote for Evan ‘08.  I’ll tell you why:

I give myself the authority to be in my own skin.

Well shit, if that’s all it takes, maybe you should run too.  In fact, let’s all run.  Let’s all give ourselves the authority to be in our own skin.

“Comfort in my own skin” is one of those expressions I’ve loathed since the first time I’ve heard it.  It’s one of those stupid, meaningless, artsy expressions that assholes use at parties to describe the fact that they’ve finally lowered their standards enough to get through the day without depressing themselves over the fact that they’ve failed by every standard, theirs and the world’s.  You hear this phrase a lot from fat girls who have serially failed at dieting.  One day they wake up and give themselves the authority to be in their own skin and then it’s suddenly okay for them to be fat because they’ve “accepted who they are.”

Are you seriously going to vote for a politician with endorsements like these?  You can say what you want about endorsements by questionable people on the Republican side of the fence but in my [heathen] opinion, endorsing and subsequently voting for a candidate on religious grounds (i.e., because he believes in Jesus and so do you) is at least expressing a set of well-known values.  If Jesus is the basis for an endorsement, you have a pretty good idea of what that means, stereotyped or not.  If a Nobel prize winner endorses a candidate with the expression “because she gave herself the authority to be in her own skin” you and I are left wondering “what the fuck does that mean?”  The answer is that nobody knows and therefore it means nothing.

I wonder if Hillary will give herself the authority to lose the war in Iraq, create a market for unborn fetuses, and mandate that any speech transmitted on federally regulated channels is at least 50% “progressive.”

Stupid.

Blind Trust

The Clintons invest their money in a blind trust.  A blind trust is an investment arrangement where the holders are not told, and in fact cannot see, the investments made with their money.

Why, pray tell, would you enter such an arrangement?

Is it because if your money is in a blind trust, you can’t be called a hypocrite when it is revealed (and it will be) that the millions of dollars you earned, are earning, and will earn to finance your extravagant top 0.001% lifestyle came from the very sources you demonize in your campaign to be elected into an office you don’t deserve?

Think about that when we learn 6 months to a year from now that the Clintons are heavily invested in Exxon Mobil.

Oil’s bad, right?

Stem Cell Research is Bad

Let me spell it out for you in one sentence:

WOMEN WILL SELL THEIR EMBRYOS AND FETUSES.

Abortion rates will go through the roof when women realize that they can sell their fetuses.  Women will make careers out of selling their unborn children.  At the very least, abortions will no longer cost patients any money because the hospitals and clinics will be able to sell the result to research firms.

And the most disgusting part about it is that democrats will make a variety of arguments in support of this practice, all of which will be true.  For example:

1.  Why waste valuable research material that may help save lives, cure diseases, and improve the quality of life for millions of Americans?

2.  Thanks to the demand for stem cells, clinics are now able to offer their services to “underprivileged” and “minority” women who can’t afford to raise babies thereby preventing another poverty-stricken child from being brought into the world.

Of course, they’ll pass laws making it illegal for research institutions to pay the mothers themselves (and maybe even the clinics).  You know what else is illegal?  Performing animal research on everyday pets which are snatched from their owners’ back yards in broad daylight by unscrupulous individuals who make a living out of stealing pets to sell to pharmaceutical companies.  It goes on all the time in one of the nation’s wealthiest counties which also happens to be in Washington DC’s backyard.

Women will sell their unborn babies.  The ones who might feel guilty for 10 seconds about letting a doctor inject a giant syringe filled with saline or some other caustic substance into the brain of her baby and then promptly spend the money the doctor paid her for its cellular material on shoes will rationalize their decision by likening it to organ donation.  “If my baby dies, at least it will go to helping someone else.”  They’ll keep the money, though.  It’s probably already happening.  But thanks to the lack of federal funding on the subject, only a handful of institutions can afford to conduct this type of research. 

Which would you prefer: keeping guys who fall off thoroughbred horses while practicing a hobby reserved only for the rich and snobbish in their wheelchairs, or your teenage daughter buying halter tops with money she earned by selling her accidental baby without your knowledge?

If you think that women won’t sell their fetuses to companies practicing federally funded stem cell research, you are probably naive enough to also think that universal healthcare is a good thing despite the undisputed, undeniable truth in the following two statements.  One: the United States is the only “first world” country that does not have a national healthcare system, and two: citizens from other countries (mainly Canada, which has been described by the majority of people who are trying to convince you that national healthcare is good as the model we should follow) are flocking in the thousands to pay out of pocket for surgeries performed at American for-profit hospitals by American for-profit surgeons.

THEIR ENTIRE PLATFORM IS WRONG.  THEY ARE WRONG ABOUT EVERYTHING.  USE YOUR HEAD.

Heely’s

In case you are unaware, a Heely’s are those obnoxious shoes with wheels on the heels that let kids cruise around like little misbehaved retards while their parents perform their noveau riche responsibility of ignoring their children while they shop at Pottery Barn.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,277679,00.html

“All it took was a tiny piece of gravel in the driveway that went up in the wheel and stopped him cold,” said his mother, Nancy. “He required surgery and pins, and he was six weeks without using his hand, right at the beginning of school.”

She threw the removable wheels away and said other parents should know about the risks.

Dr. Dominic Catanese, a foot specialist at Montefiore Medical Center in New York, said balancing on heels can strain feet and Achilles tendons. He has treated several Heelys-related ankle injuries and won’t let his 7-year-old daughter have the shoes.

“She wants them. Not happening. Just like I took away her trampoline” after reading about trampoline injuries. “It went right to Goodwill,” Catanese said.

Yes, good idea.  Give that dangerous trampoline to a poor, probably uninsured family who doesn’t own the subscription to Parenting magazine which pointed out the obvious to you that trampolines are unsafe.  This coming from a doctor, no less.  Think about that the next time some quack prescribes you happy pills.

If it’s a hazard to children, destroy it.  Don’t give it away.  Idiots.