Political Harmony

RE: Roissy

“…but in my experience a girl’s political opinions have zero correlation to how well we’ll get along as a lovemaking couple.  About the only time it matters is when… we’re discussing politics.”

If it’s not blatantly obvious from my previous posts, I am a hard-line Republican.  In my experience, Roissy is only correct when it comes to rapid weekly pump-n-dump flings that guys like me don’t waste their time with.  Out of the three serious girlfriends I’ve shared long-term relationships with, two of them were liberals, one of which was flaming.  I pumped both of them (hundreds of times), but in the end, I dumped them.

Political alignment is one of the foundations of a successful relationship.  Most people think of liberal vs. conservative at face value, meaning the resulting positions on “political” topics like abortion, universal healthcare, the war in Iraq, etc.  However, the real importance of political alignment is the fundamental character traits that cause a person to have liberal or conservative beliefs.  Those fundamental traits will express themselves in so many other thousands of very practical ways that when a man and a woman are out of whack, they are in for a stormy ride.

I’ll give you an example of a watershed experience that sealed the fate of my last relationship.  This girl subjected me to the silver screen edition of the musical Rent, which for those of you who have been spared the misfortune of experiencing, is a magnum opus of liberal utopia where a bunch of sexually liberated drug users all die of AIDS.  It features a straight white man with AIDS from shooting up heroin, a presumably straight Latina who has AIDS for the same reason, a black gay male who has AIDS from gay sex, a transgendered Latino who has AIDS from gay sex, a bisexual white female who does not have AIDS, a black lesbian female who proposes to the bisexual white female and does not have AIDS, and a straight white male who used to date the bisexual white female who was first portrayed on the stage by a bisexual white male who is “civilly unified” to a gay black male, neither of whom has AIDS.  If I didn’t already tell you this was Rent, you might think it was the newest children’s book to be introduced to the curriculum of elementary schools across the country.

My ex-girlfriend made me sit through this crap.  After a few people die from AIDS, the credits mercifully roll and my girlfriend says, “well, what did you think?”

I told her how awful it was on every count.  “They got what they deserved” was a common theme.  One of my primary objections to the film was that of all the characters in the story, it’s only evident that two of the main characters ever paid any taxes and yet it’s very clear that the transgendered Latino who dies of AIDS receives hospice care as he withers away, and I asked her who got the bill.  She was stunned that I would even ask such questions.  I asked her what she thought, and she said something stupid about how love conquers all (meaning gender and race) and the story is a showcase for alternative lifestyles and the endless possibilities of Western society.  I laughed in her face and asked her if the founding fathers had envisioned one day the endless possibilities of sleeping in the gutter, wasting your life shooting up opium, dying of AIDS, and then sending your non-fuck-up neighbors your hospital bill.  That’s when she started crying, and that’s when I knew it was over.

I knew it was over because I realized that I could never respect someone I knew to be so wrong about such basic life principles.  As you can tell, I am not an open-minded individual and I have no tolerance for this laissez-faire attitude about everyone and everything.  As I sat here and listened to her drone on about how acceptable these patent fuck ups were even in the face of their documented abject failure, I realized that she would let the wildly liberal school system brainwash our children and would never once call upon them to question the bullshit they’ll be fed at every level, all for the sake of this ridiculous notion of “tolerance” she obviously has if she can sit through Rent with a straight face.  She would divorce me when I suggested beating the queer out of our children at an early age (with words, of course).  She would slip our children money for heroin when they become worthless addicts.  She would let herself gain 50 pounds because I should love her for who she is.  She would also sue me for alimony because, like most useless liberals, she made $20,000 a year and then went to grad school to become a sociology professor (doesn’t it just figure?)

These beliefs had nothing to do with abortion, the war in Iraq, or any other political talking points.  They had to do with her deep-seated, unchangeable outlook on life and her unwillingness to render moral judgment on anyone or anything, flaws which I found to be fatally repulsive.

Political outlook, in my experience, is an excellent metric that can very quickly tell you a huge amount about a person.  I recommend probing this info on the first date.  There are plenty of subtle ways to find out without turning the entire conversation into a political debate.  Do yourself a favor and find someone with the same basic political views.  You’ll have a much happier relationships.