Unmakings of an Alpha, Part 2
For 2 months between the time I graduated college and I found my first job, I lived with my parents in New Jersey again. I had fantasized about working in New York City. Ultimately, I realized that was a bad idea and moved back down to DC. But while I was there…
One night, my parents and I were out at a local restaurant. Entrees were around $20. Who do I see waitressing the bar booths bearing a grimace that could wilt flowers, but Eastern European chick?
I purposely lingered in the bar area for a minute as we were on our way out and upon seeing me rapidly dispensed her drink order and hugged me. “So you’re back in town? Look I’m really busy right now but do you have my number? Here it is, call me later, I get off at 11!” I barely had time to say anything but I had her number. I figured what the hell – I had dumped the dirty Indian about 6 months ago and I hadn’t been enjoying the regular sex I’d been used to for the previous five years so I figured what the hell? I haven’t heard much about clap in F-Town, so she’s probably clean. Slutty, but clean. Despite my deep-seated aversion to banging sluts, that attitude is a luxury. When a man is single and isn’t getting laid at least 3 times a week, his morals quiet down until his stick is dipped. They drum up regret later.
Of course, at this point all I had of this girl were fond memories and her phone number. And mental images of her naked. I called her around 12:30 that night. Sluts stay up late.
We made plans for a weeknight. Something like a Tuesday, a night she wasn’t working. We went to some local restaurant/bar. I paid for her drinks.
We caught up. She dodged questions about what happened with school down in Florida. I had recalled that she went to some crazy party school and remembered hearing through the grape vine that she had failed out, but apparently the truth was that while she didn’t get booted by the school, her grades and behavior were not stellar. I think there may have been some D/D arrests involved. Her parents stopped paying for it and this girl didn’t have $30,000 a year, so she went home.
We had a few drinks, martinis mostly, I think. She invited me back to her house. How could I say no? We took seperate cars.
As soon as we got back to her parents’ house, she led me upstairs. The girl was practically giddy with flirtation. We had already established that I was no longer dating the dirty Indian who according to EE was far below my standards. Who am I to disagree?
It didn’t take very long to escalate to her straddling me. We made out a little and I started feeling on her tits. Her shirt was quick to come off. She was wearing a skirt. No panties.
Now, remember, this girl, along with her BFF, had pranced around naked in front of me years ago, kissed each other to entice me, and tried desperately to break me. In turn, I had resisted their charms. I masturbated dozens of times about what I should have done to them if it weren’t for my indomitable moral character.
You would think that after years of thinking about what it would be like to screw this chick, the fact that I was in the process of doing it would have been overwhelmingly gratifying. I was disappointed to confirm what I had suspected since the second our “date” started, that is that my opinion of this girl had only gotten worse as time went on. I liked imagining her naked, and imagining putting it in her, but in real life, I felt nothing but pity for her. And while I was going through the motions of bedding her, I kept searching for a reason to stop.
And then, mercifully, it came.
“I don’t have a condom.”
Of course I did, but I lied.
“That’s okay, I don’t mind if you don’t.”
Ding ding ding!
This girl was a college drop-out waittress. Her looks peaked at 18 and were heading down-hill. She lived with her parents in a small, one-horse, bullshit little town in New Jersey. The only people who are in Flemington between the ages of 18-24 are losers who never found a way to get out. She was about to sleep with a handsome, college educated man with good genetics and strong earning potential and she didn’t want to use a condom. She may be a slut but she wasn’t stupid. She was sharp enough to know that a baby – my baby – would solve all her problems. Even if she couldn’t convince me to marry her, she could slap me with child support. Her baby would validate her as a member of society and give her a blanket excuse for why she never made anything else of herself. I’m not a sucker.
“I’m sorry, EE. I can’t do this. I don’t want you to have any expectations.”
“I don’t, I just want you. I wanted you 5 years ago and I want you now.”
“I know. But I never had you then and I think it would be wrong of me to have you now.”
She didn’t say anything. The mood was chilled. She put her shirt back on. I gave her a hug and let myself out. We haven’t spoken.
Cool story Evan. Yeah, but I haven’t told you the best part.
Before this date occurred, I told my dad about it. I had told him all the flirtation stories when they were happening when I was 18, so he was familiar with this girl. He warned me to make sure I had a condom.
When I saw him the following evening and he asked how my date with this girl went, the conversation went like this:
Dad: “So how’d it go?”
Me: “Eh. I had her naked on her back but I didn’t do it.”
Dad: “What did you talk about?”
Me: “Caught up mostly.”
Dad: “Let me guess. When you first started talking, she asked you three questions.”
Me: “Okay…”
Dad: “1. Did you graduate? 2. Are you still dating the dirty Indian? 3. Do you have a job? She asked you those three questions in that order.”
Me: “Wow, spooky. How’d you know?”
Dad: “And let me also guess. When you had her on her back she never brought up the condom did she?”
Me: “No.”
Dad: “And you sure you didn’t give her the solution to all of her problems and the cause of all of yours?”
Me: “You mean a bellyfull of Evan juice?”
Dad: “Precisely.”
Me: “Yeah, I couldn’t. She’s just a poor, desperate slut, just like she was when she was 18.”
Dad: “That’s how I knew what she’d ask you. Women are not complicated. They are obvious and easy. Most men are just too stupid to read them. I’m glad you can.”
Women are not complicated. They are obvious and easy. Luring them into your bedroom isn’t a game. It’s not even that challenging. It’s just wrong. The better at if you get, the more wrong it becomes. Not because it makes her a victim at the mercy of your game, or any bullshit like that. Not because Jesus says you shouldn’t. It’s just wrong. Stop wasting your time.
The end.
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I enjoyed reading this and I do agree that living a promiscuous lifestyle will never give you happiness or fulfillment. The only part I’m a little sketchy on is the conclusion that she was willing to go condom-free because of the possibility that she may get pregnant. For some reason, I just can’t see her having such manipulative ulterior motives. If anything, she probably lacked foresight, lived in the moment and was eager to sleep with you in the hopes that you two would possibily become an item. The three questions she asked you are typical questions in a catch-up with old friends conversation.
I mean, I suppose it is possible she had that intention, but I’m just offering another perspective here.
Great post and mad props to you for turning your back on the whole alpha trend that seems to be all the rage now.
nyc waitresses make decent money. if she’s hot enough, she could land some sort of boyfriend. i doubt she’d need to get pregnant by you. maybe you made her feel comfortable and gave her the boyfriendy vibe? or maybe i’m too trusting.
That is what is called a lease. That’s what you do for rapidly depreciating assets that you need use of… such as a car!