Why All Men Should Read PUA Blogs
Recently a commentator questioned why I link to blogs like The House of O even though I have repeatedly disparaged the lifestyle. What interest do I have in these blogs?
It’s simple, really. Even if your goal in life is not to cat around with as many hot girls as possible, it is still critically important to have the power to do so at any time for a variety of reasons.
Roissy’s essential message is that in order to be a pickup artist, all you need to do is behave like an alpha male. It’s not necessarily about what to say to a girl in a club. It’s more about how to change the way you think about yourself and your position in society relative to everyone else. When you think like an alpha, the lines you drop on girls to seduce them come as natural to you as any conversation; in other words, the most successful men are the ones who are born as or who transition themselves into alpha males.
The key here is that being an alpha male has so many other implications that are entirely unrelated to the pursuit of pussy. Having the alpha mindset helps you in every human relationship you have, not just with women. Alpha males are better boyfriends, better husbands, better employees, better fathers, better sons, better friends. All of these things simply happen from walking through life with the full appreciation that you are a fully incorporated man and that you have all the rights and privileges thereto appointed.
So what does it mean to be an alpha male, you ask? Scores on this subject have been written by various alpha perspectives but here are some of the key traits that I strive to exude at all times.
Confidence. If there is a single defining trait that all alpha males share it is confidence. You have to be confident in yourself. That means that when you set out to accomplish something, you do so with the belief that you will accomplish it, whether that be scoring a ten in a club or meeting a deadline at work or fixing a leaky faucet. Whatever it is, do it with confidence.
It’s harder than it sounds. That ten has a boyfriend already, your deadline might be impossible, and you are not a professional plumber, so why should you have confidence? Because you are an alpha male. If you believe yourself to be a strong, capable man, you can derive the strength and energy to overcome obstacles you might otherwise shy away from even when there is stark evidence that you will certainly fail. That leads to the next alpha trait that I hold dear:
Fearlessness. Alpha males are not afraid of anything. I mean, truly afraid. Every person will experience fear from time to time; I dare even the toughest of men not to quake in their boots if they saw a grizzly bear charging at them. A certain amount of self-preservation fear is built into all humans, so certain natural aversions to things like ferocious animals or heights are natural. When I say fear, what I really mean is fear of failure.
If you let yourself fall into the trap of caring too much about whether your succeed or fail you will never take the kinds of risks that all successful people took. They say that the average number of failed companies the millionaire entrepeneur has under his belt is three. There is little riskier than pouring your capital and your income stream into a business venture that might fail except possibly marrying a succubus who might divorce you, especially if you’re Mel Gibson or Tiger Woods. The astronomically successful people in this world are those who will take a risk, fail, and then take the same risk again because they aren’t emotionally invested in their failure.
Case in point: I am about to accept a position at a company in which I will be under a great deal more pressure, the stakes are tremendously higher, and I am going to need skills that I am not sure that I have. This could end in disaster for me and I may end up getting fired. But I am willing to accept that risk because I am not afraid of failing, and the rewards are worth the risk. Am I scared? A little. Will it stop me? No. Because ultimately, I know that the trepidation that I have isn’t real. I know this because I am an alpha male.
Command. Alpha males are leaders, not followers. Sometimes alpha males will follow other alpha males because leading is always harder than following and often times the path of least resistance is appealing, but the alpha male only follows when two invariants are true: first, the leader he follows is at least as alpha as he is and second, he is ready, able, and willing to assume command when his leader is killed in honorable combat. Or quits, or whatever. Part of the alpha male way of thinking is to see the majority of the world as subordinate in some way. The difference between an arrogant man and an alpha male is that the arrogant man makes sure to remind the rest of the world how he sees them at every opportunity. Alphas are just as arrogant as arrogant men but they are smart enough to appreciate the use of tact and diplomacy. You don’t get the best out of people when you’re pushing their faces in the mud with the heel of your boot.
Even when you have no real authority over anyone or anything, it is important to act as though you do and to acquire some authority as quickly as possible. You, as a man, will be emotionally satisfied only when you have exhibited dominance over something. The difference between an alpha and a beta is that the alpha seeks authority whereas the beta shys away from it, mostly because he is afraid and lacks confidence. Alphas are categorically happier than betas.
(As an aside, I would just like to point out why feminism damages society so much: not every man can be a leader outside of his home. In a society where the man is the head of his household and is appreciated as the leader in that context, he will be much happier than in a society where husbands are told to sit when they pee by their harpy bitch wives with Rosie Riveter tats on their biceps).
Integrity. Alphas maintain guiding principles and don’t waver from them. This isn’t so much an alpha trait but rather just a prerequisite. You can’t fill the alpha role in any group if people don’t trust you or think you’re unprincipled and flakey. People with integrity generally do what they say they’ll do, and followthrough is a highly alpha trait to have.
The reason that PUA blogs are enjoyable to read is because they demonstrate alpha by example. All of the same basic principles described by players are equally applicable to business situations, domestic situations, even parenting situations. The reason that this situation – i.e., the pursuit of pussy – is so perfect is because it’s universal. Even beta chumps are born with a divining rod between their legs with a hunger that must be sated and which will guide their course through life. Not every man works in an office, or has children, or is married, but every straight man outside the clergy has, at one point in his lifetime, attempted to get laid.
These guys are pushing a mindset by using concrete examples of which behaviors are alpha and which are beta. They are also demonstrating a clear, practical application for this mindset as a motivational mechanism to adopt their way of thinking.
For me, as I have mentioned before, I have always been a natural alpha and PUA blogs simply put how I think into a vocabularly that makes sense, and from time to time someone – either the author or a commentator – will produce a different angle to a situation or an approach that I wouldn’t have thought of but makes perfect sense. Even alpha males can benefit from the experiences of other alpha males, and I have used certain model approaches in situations entirely unrelated to women and achieved successes.
Alpha think will improve your life. If you aren’t on board, get on board.
I would simply add that there is a fine, fine line between being an alpha male and just plain arrogant.
I completely agree with your argument and wish more men were alpha males (and that more mothers encouraged their sons to become alpha males). But there is something so off-putting about an arrogant person and especially a male. I guess I expect men to know what they are capable of and can be confident about versus what they should not be confident about.
And it is ok not be overtly confident about something – you can still be confident about learning something or mastering it without looking like less of a man.
“Alphas are categorically happier than betas.”
Is there any real evidence for this?
It’s a good thing to be fearless and to exude confidence, but one must never seek to fool himself. Confidence enables and enhances one’s capabilities; it is not a cure for incapability.
Dude please stop linking with bad links.
Oops, my bad. Fixed.
[...] Emach – “Why All Men Should Read PUA Blogs” [...]
I was that commentator.
As for your rationale as for why men should be encouraged to read a site that exists solely for giving tips on how a fat 27-year old virgin still living with his Mom, can perhaps fool an emotionally insecure woman into thinking he is an ‘alpha’ male, and therefore desirable….
Meh. Valiant attempt, though – I’ll give you that.
Deana said: “I would simply add that there is a fine, fine line between being an alpha male and just plain arrogant.”
She is being very diplomatic. My way of putting it:
There is a line between being an alpha male with the qualities a real man should possess, such as INTEGRITY as you mentioned, and being a flaming asshole.
When you began courting the lady who is now your wife, did you use the “caveman” approach, the fake starving artist approach, the con job about needing to sack out on her coach approach because the trains are no longer running….or how about that cool uselful line that you have cocaine back at your place? I think that was one of his list of handy “tips” too!
I’ll bet your answer is “none of the above.” I’m sure your lady would have seen through any of that false crappola had you attempted it – and given you the boot.
In other posts you have mentioned that your lady would like to have children and be a mom at home. If one of them ends up being a daughter – get back to me in about 17 years. That is the age of mine.
Hopefully, her mother and I have taught her how to spot the poseurs, the insincere smooth talkers, and the aggressive assholes who are interested solely into conning their way into her panties and in nothing else….But if some pimple faced shithead loser tries to use the PUA site as some sort of guide on how to treat my young lady…I’ve got a SW 686 .357 he’ll be introduced to, real quick.
And after he has looked down the barrel pointed between his eyes and shit in his pants, he can then become a commentator on PUA sites who bitches about how “uptight” and “frigid” American girls and their redneck Dads are – and gee aren’t they so much more “modern” in places like Columbia?
Young men should be taught to be a real man, with all that entails – Integrity, honesty, forthrightness, strong-willed, chivalrous, and possessing character. Then he won’t need lame “pick-up” lines (and the accompanying STD) from some PUA site.
Just my two cents.
My wife is now pregnant with our child and alas, it is a son.
I’m not sure what the caveman approach is. The first two sentences I ever spoke to her were:
“Are we the same person? Also, do you want to have sex?”
We did have sex a couple of dates later. She initiated.
I didn’t pull those lines out of the Mystery Method or from Roosh V’s sex guide. I was just mildly inebriated.
As for your daughter – poor you. I’m sure I’ll be gripped with the same emotional fears for my future daughter’s cherry as you are for yours but you’re deluding yourself if you think that you’ve taught her how to evade the wiles of a true alpha. If one hasn’t already plucked her without your knowledge it’s only a matter of time. Even the most virtuous of girls will one day spread them for an alpha player. Whether he became an alpha player by birth or through years of field research and academic study is mostly irrelevant.
The thing about women that you’ve either forgotten or never knew – as many of the PUAs will tell you – is that even when a girl knows she’s being gamed she’ll let the man game her anyway as long as he does a good enough job, because girls are attracted to men with game.
Feminism is the best thing to happen for women in my field. I would never be in the job I am today without it.
If you needed feminism to land your job, I’d bet money that you’re bad at it.
My pickup blog~
Check it!
http://bit.ly/bdPndu
This site is superb. I will come back again because I absolutely love your style. Striking!
Even though I consider myself a beta-male, I’m keeping a blog to track my progress and fix myself when I’m out of line.
Another alpha attribute is “dominance”. Its how you dominate the girl, and control her – for example when you tell her: “kiss me here” – she will more likely comply if you’re a dominant male because she doesn’t want to be rejected.
My pua blog is:
http://puastealth.wordpress.com/
Hope you could have a read and comment when you have time
Cheers