Trusting Yourself, a.k.a., Accenture Blows
About 3 months ago, I ran into an old colleague at a trade show. We spent most of the conference together, talking about technology and business. It was a good time. This guy, who I’ll call Bob, is about 10 years older than I am and I always respected him on a technical level and I considered him somewhat of a “career model” – not so much a role model, because, well, he’s a liberal. Despite that, he and I were friends.
When I say he was successful at my company, I mean to a degree – at one point or the other, during his almost decade-long tenure here, he pissed everybody off. When he left, there were a handful of people that he wasn’t really on speaking terms with. Of course, I’m not really on speaking terms with them either because they’re dufuses. No harm, mo foul.
Long story short, we got to talking about the industry. Since he left my company he has been promoted a few times at his new company such that he is now at the director level and has hiring responsibility. He offered me a job.
The numbers were good and the picture he painted of his company was very positive. Since he worked where I work and he reported to the very same people to whom I currently report, it was easy for him to portray “where he came from” (also “where I am”) very negatively. It wasn’t a hard sell.
The company was Avanade. A joint partnership between Accenture and Microsoft.
A few red flags came up when I heard the words Accenture, because even when I was still an undergrad, I knew about Accenture’s absolutely poisonous reputation as a merciless body shop whose business model revolves around hiring as many naive undergrads as it can find and working them to the bone because they don’t know any better. When you have a reputation for sucking people off the streets like a hoover, your employees become keenly aware that their replacements are lining up outside the building and they know that if they don’t concede to slave-like working conditions they’ll just be replaced by someone who will.
I voiced these concerns to Bob, who assured me that Avanade, despite being now owned almost wholly by Accenture, was nothing like that. Avanade had a unique culture where it considers its people its most important asset. This guy was a friend of mine. Why would he lie? Avanade was more Microsoft than Accenture, said he. Okay. My bullshit alarms were ringing but I gave him and Avanade the benefit of the doubt.
Note to self: wrong move.
I started employment with Avanade on Monday. By Wednesday, I had resigned.
Let me tell you about Avanade, henceforth known as Accenture.
I was brought in by a friend under the promise of wonderful things. 3 weeks of paid training. A $2000 “work/life balance” stipend. Almost 40 days of vacation, all totaled. Great, exciting, dynamic workplace with exciting technical challenges and brilliant colleagues. I was brought in because Bob knew I was, like him, a star at my current company, and in his words, he needed a star on his staff.
You’d think that if you’re paying your friend the star a nice, big, fat salary to do great things for your company, you’d find the time to arrange some place for him to sit. Not so at Accenture. No, I started my first day without even so much as a cube. I had a private office at my last position.
My panic alarm went off right away, because now I’m starting to think that I may have been brought in under false pretenses. Within 15 seconds of arriving on my first day I encountered my first experience with the two-faced bitch called Accenture. Tell your people that they are wonderful amazing great people and this is a great place to work, but then treat them like chattel.
Okay, whatever, Bob is a busy guy, he probably just didn’t have time, I tried to tell myself. I borrow a guy’s cube who’s out of the office and begin getting my “quickstart” training under way.
In the glory days (e.g., before Avanade started losing money along with everybody else in the industry thanks to the bank recession), they used to fly their new hires out to Seattle for a live indoctrination “quickstart” training. To save money, they reduced this to a 6 hour PowerPoint deck. I wish I was kidding. Many of these slide decks (as there were several) had Accenture branding all over them. “I thought Avanade had its own culture.” Says Bob, “It does, but something like sexual harrassment training is the same for us as any company like Accenture, so we might as well just borrow where we can.” Mmmhmm. Of course, that does make lots of sense.
“Avanade is all about integrity and honesty” the quickstart would have me believe. Keep that under your hat.
So I begin to sit through this not-so-quickstart training and I very rapidly realize the truth of Avanade. This company likes to talk as if it’s this wonderful breakout success, when that couldn’t be further from the truth. Avanade wasn’t a “partnership” between Microsoft and Accenture. If it were, and Avanade were as successful as they claim, then why would Microsoft sell its stake to Accenture? The truth is that Avanade is the perverted bastard child of a Microsoft bribe to Accenture to start using their technology in their contract engagements instead of their open source Java/Linux BS that Accenture is known for. From day one, Accenture has been feeding Avanade nearly all of its revenue either directly in the form of subcontract work or via Accenture and former Accenture executives using their business contacts to recycle old customers and point them at Avanade directly.
The whole thing was a giant sham. I wasn’t working for an independent company, I was working for Accenture. And this was clear by the fact that I was in an office (in fact, an entire floor at a federal building – your tax dollars at work) staffed with about 10 Avanade employees and about 150? 200? Accenture people. I also find out that this contract that Accenture has been on has been ongoing since I was a freshman in high school. There were lifers on that contract. People who have made their entire career selling bullshit Accenture “solutions” to a government agency that never runs out of money.
Maybe it’s my sense of morality or my refusal to take part in organized theft from the federal government but within 8 hours of starting at Avanade I began to realize that I was in the midst of a perverted, evil empire and that I had been seduced on to this assignment by a sith lord who was attempting to turn me to the dark side. “Soft” skills are more important than technical skills, says Bob. Wait, seriously?! I’m an engineer. I don’t devote 8+ hours per day of my life to inter- and intra-office poltiical bullshit. I’m not interested in playing games with customers or coworkers.
Theatrics aside, I’m being dead serious here. I quickly came to the epiphany that even if I could rise through the ranks of this company, I wouldn’t want to because I would hate what I had become. I left my first day on the job in a state of near panic because I had just left a paying job to come join the company I swore I would never work for when I started my career many years ago.
How could Bob have done this to me?
On day two, I began to understand how. Bob had a reputation at my company for having a gigantic ego and being very self centered. I saw it a bit when I was there, but when I saw him again a few months ago he didn’t come across like that at all. He had since been married and become a father, so I thought maybe a lot of his personality flaws from the old days had been worked out through life experience.
The reality was that no. He wasn’t less self centered. He was more self centered, to the extent that he would openly deceive a friend of his and lie to my face in the effort of advancing his career. He wasn’t less two-faced, he was more; the only thing that had changed about Bob was that he had become better at disguising his true colors. Is that what his career at Avanade taught him how to be? No thanks.
Bob didn’t give a shit about me. Bob saw me as an asset. Sure, that’s business. But it’s a two way street. He does for me, I do for him. From minute one, Bob immediately put his director hat on - even with an old friend who knew him as a lowly engineer – and kept it on. The thing about the cube? I called him out on it in front of a few of his other reports. You know what he said to me? “My concern is about growing this account by a million dollars, not about where I sit.”
Holy shit. If that’s not a company line, I don’t know what is. A company line that is intended to inform you from the very second you start at this company that you don’t mean shit. The only thing that matters is how much money Avanade takes from its clients, and I say takes because if the way it treats its employees is any indication of the way it treats its customers then I would only wonder how it stays in business. But I know how they do. They put on their “customer first” face with the customer and make the customer think they’re getting great stuff. Then they come back to the office and treat their employees like slaves who produce shit. It doesn’t matter, as long as the check clears. “Customer first” was one of the driving points of the quick start training. Meanwhile, in the next sentence, they tell you that they’re “all about their people.”
Liars.
“Consulting is not for everyone” said Bob when I suggested that I didn’t like the way Avanade was doing its business. He assured me that every major consulting firm was like this. A little piece of me died becuase I knew he was right. I also knew that I had been stupid to go against my gut in knowing this before I signed on with Avanade but trusting my friend. I knew when I was coming on board that I was taking a risk, but I figured that I had to take risks or I would never know anything.
The people that I would be working with, also, struck me as total nincompoops. No wonder Bob wanted me on staff. It must be tough to convince bright people to work for Avanade because the bright ones can see through the charade that is that company instantly and are smart enough to get out while they can, while the dumb ones either can’t find work elsewhere or think they’re actually getting a good, fair shake from their dark masters. The work was simplistic and uninteresting, and in fact constituted a tiny subset of the work I did for my last project (my last job was in product development, not contract work). “Product is dead,” said Bob. I almost believed him.
Another perverse peculiarity about Accenture/Avanade is the fact that the bosses make absolutely no bones about the fact that all of Avanade’s employees are competing with each other for promotions and raises. You’d have to be a different kind of idiot to believe that isn’t the case everywhere, but in most places, they give you a wink and a nod and talk to you about cooperation. Of course you’re actually competing, but you can compete by cooperating. Not at Avanade. One of the metrics they use to determine your value to the company is chargeability. By one of, I mean the only metric, since from the way I was treated as a new hire – especially as a new hire who was friends with and was hand-recruited by a director – it’s clear they don’t care about anything other than how much money they bring in. If you’re more chargeable than someone else, you’re better. If you’re less chargeable because you spent a large amount of your time mentoring your team and helping them get their work done, you fail.
Anyone who doesn’t see a corporate culture of competition as an absolutely toxic place to work has serious personality defects they need to work out. Did I mention that my friend Bob, who fosters and promotes this poisonous corporate culture, is a raging liberal who believes in universal healthcare?
At this point, as all these thoughts are coming together for me, I begin to realize that I don’t have a future with Avanade. I was willing to confirm all these fears – after all, then I’d have more to share with all of you – and stick around for a few months. But there was one tiny detail.
Part of my contract was a signing bonus that stipulated that if I left within 1 year I had to pay back a prorated portion of this bonus. What it didn’t stipulate was less taxes, meaning if I left 3 months now I’d have to come up with that bonus in post-tax dollars (to be refunded next April, but gone now). In otherwords, I was financially liable to Avanade if I accepted this signing bonus. As a result, I contacted HR in regards to this bonus to see if there was a way I could defer it or forfeit it. The phrase I used to describe the situation was “indentured servitude.”
Bob asked me to lunch that day. I knew what it was about. “What’s this about you not accepting your signing bonus?” For those of you who didn’t catch what just happened, the answer is: HR forwarded my e-mail directly to my boss. Does that sound like integrity or honesty to you?
I told Bob that I thought this company was fucked and that I didn’t foresee myself having a future with this place. The culture was diseased and I didn’t want to catch it.
Now of course, I’m shitting all over Bob’s company at which Bob has been successful and for which Bob now represents. He obviously likes it – or, what I really suspect, likes the power it gives him – so of course he isn’t going to be conducive to me telling him that I think he likes Avanade because he’s an egomanical power hungry douche that loves a place like Accenture because it lets him do what he’s always wanted to do which is be Mr. Big Shot Important who can pretend to be your best friend while he pisses in your coffee.
Put yourself in Bob’s shoes for a second. You’ve just brought a friend to your company as your subordinate and you catch wind – ethically or otherwise – that he’s thinking about leaving. For those of you who one day might be in this position, let me explain the correct way to handle this situation.
First, you find a way to ask about my future with the company without blatantly revealing the fact that your HR department is your personal spy. All Bob had to do is ask, “how do you like Avanade so far,” and I would have told him everything I would have told him already. By revealing that HR forwards e-mails, you basically damn your company even further because now my suspicions are only confirmed, and those suspicions are your company is a bunch of two-faced lying jackasses who pollute who they employ with highly questionable work ethics.
Next, when you hear that your friend is not happy and has negative things to say about Avanade, your reaction should be: “what can we do to make it better?” Your reaction should not be: “how can I introduce you to the customer if you might leave shortly [thereby making us look like jackasses who can't keep our employees on staff]“. If I thought that Avanade didn’t give a flying fuck about me before and was certain that they, and he, would chew me up and spit me out, now I knew I was also correct on this score.
Mr. Big Shot Director doesn’t even have these, the most basic of people skills. I guess you don’t need them at Avanade.
By the end of that lunch conversation we had essentially agreed that I was resigning from Avanade. Took me about 20 hours on the job, in total.
I had originally scheduled a concall with HR for later that afternoon so she could answer my original questions about the signing bonus, but I took that opportunity to inform her. It was one of the more amusing phone calls I’ve been on. I’ll call her Cuntface, because that’s what she was.
Me: “Cuntface, did you forward the contents of my e-mail to you with my boss?”
Cuntface: “No.”
Me: ‘Did you share the substance of it with him?”
Cuntface: “No.”
Me: “Really? Because not only did he know things that I shared only with you, but he quoted the exact wording of the e-mail message I sent to you this morning. How do you suppose he did that? Is he omniscient? ESP, perhaps?”
Cuntface: “I don’t know… I didn’t-”
Me: “Cuntface, I know you’re lying to my face and I’ve caught you in your lie. If you were some random person at this company I would forgive you because I don’t actually expect the average Avanade employee to actually act in accordance with your stated corporate values because you and I both know that’s marketing HR bullshit that makes our customers feel good about Avanade, but you’re HR. If any person in this company should keep correspondences confidential, it’s you, Cuntface.”
Cuntface: “Your negative attitude isn’t helping…”
Me: “My negative atttiude? Cuntface, fuck this company. I have never been treated so disrespectfully in a professonal environment in my entire life. This is disgraceful and hypocritical and you ought to be ashamed.”
Cuntface: “So are you resigning then?”
Me: “Absolutely, I am resigning.”
Cuntface: “Well we’ll send you a box to mail back your laptop…”
Me: “My laptop is where I left it, in Avanade’s offices about 6 feet away from Bob; if he wants it, he can have it. I’m done with your company.”
Cuntface: “I need you to send me a resignation letter…”
Me: “How about I just send it to some random Avanade employee; I’m sure it will wind up in your inbox. Share and share a like, that’s called integrity and honor.”
Cuntface: “You need to send it to me.”
Me: “I’m sorry, Cuntface, I can’t do that. I don’t correspond with liars.” Click.
I resigned to Bob. I forfeited my pay. They’ll probably pay me anyway to cover their asses legally, but I’m going to give the money to charity. I didn’t contribute to their business – thank God – and I won’t stoop so low to bloody my hands with their dirty money.
Don’t work for Accenture or any company that subcontracts for Accenture. Don’t hire Accenture to do any work for you or your company. Avoid these people like the plague. They are the worst segment of this industry, and they give IT contractors a bad name.
I returned to my previous company – these people were truly my friends instead of just pretending to be to get more out of me, and unlike Avanade, even though they were not beaten over the face with a PowerPoint exalting honesty and integrity, they actually have both.
When I tell my coworkers who also knew Bob this story, they say, “yes, that sounds exactly like him,” or, “we warned you.”
Needless to say, this was a very interesting week. I hope to never have one like it again.
Wow. Glad you got your old job back
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/business/news/centrica-launches-163182m-lawsuit-against-accenture-826286.html
http://assventure.blogspot.com/
Yes there has been quite a few comments on the net against Accenture’s core values. I just quit yesterday. Its the most wise thing I have done in my life. Its disgusting to experience and observe the horror unfolding in the company. Its just a matter of time when ACN will become another Blue-chip company loosing its clothes in public because of bad corporate practises.
To those who are researching the company before you join them : These days having Accenture experience goes against you in the industry as the entire Tech services sector considers Accenture work culture to be appalling. And hence anyone from Accenture is considered as ‘AIDS’. I’m not being vindictive, just plain frank.
You can bid you skills goodbye by being with them as it is never encouraged. I was in the Manager level after having extensive IT experience in the industry and a degree from Stanford. The politics practised by everyone from team lead and up have made the environment toxic. Which any imbecile knows is a recipe for disaster.
Now that I work for a fantastic financial institution, I really pity the ones still stuck there due to the recession.
Avanade is the reason that Microsoft will never beat Oracle. Ever. But it is also the reason that Oracle won’t have to improve. This is a Microsoft problem, because their enterprise customer base are cows.
Wow. You are incredibly immature and a grossly entitled prick. Hilarious how you blast accenture but in the process of you child-like rant end up making them seem sympathetic in having to deal with you. Whaaaah I don’t have a cubicle. Whaaaaaah I have to do some online training. Whaaaah I think it is okay to call out management in front of colleagues two days into the job. WhaAaaaah I deserve special treatment. Whaaa. Grow some nuts you baby.
You obviously know nothing factual about Accenture and your parents were wise to name you Richard.
Hilarious. I actually knew a Richard Wallet from college. I wonder what he’s doing now…
Richard must be a freelance loser spy on the rolls of Accenture.
Nothing is better than when commentors prove my points for me. Are you an Accenture employee? Management, perhaps? If not, you should consider it. You’d fit right in.
I could probably work in a coal mine too, and I suppose if I were to complain about contracting black lung you’d probably call me a pussy, right?
If Avanade can’t even find a fucking desk for an employee to sit at they’ve got issues. That’s not special treatment. That’s analagous to hiring a lumberjack and not giving him a chainsaw and still asking him to cut down trees.
You’re an idiot, Richard. Go die.
Exactly.
While I would not post a message with such extreme comments, I will state that, after 10 + years with Accenture, the writer is right and this is only the tip of the iceberg. There are HR risks, employment risks, legal risks, work risks and succession planning risks that lie open like gaping wounds, all pointing back to much frivilous fighting for money. The top levels focus on that, and blindly leave in place whatever managers are willing to sit below them – and those managers are ruthless and unscrupulous in the worst ways. There is really no visibility and no accountability in term so people development and treatment – and everyone know this. Those who are true leaders, who embody ‘business operator’ – ‘people developer’ – ‘value creator’ –Accenture’s definition of a leader– are quickly snatched by better employers who really focus on these things and on core values (Accenture’s are best people, respect for the individual, integrity, client value creation, one global network and stewardship – very much ignored in lieu of focuse on margins, profit, ‘business need’).
Today, what remains, is truly a layer of beaten, fearful, hard-working newbies under a cloud of those who get thrills from dominating through power and fear. Even those who feel they’ve been around the block are appalled at the way people are treated. From 1-1 belittling, to work-stealing, to extreme lies about career opportunities just to get a person to work through a holiday weekend or through their child’s birthday, etc. Over and over it happens. I’ve seen it and all I can say is I stayed too long and the smart ones leave. The quick cold wash of reality feels great once one leaves that environment. It is truly like being beaten. Really frightening. The only focus is cost – margin and profit preservation is the driver for all. The writer is correct “business need” is the trump card for all things – so while you were promised work-life balance – or at least to just attend you grandmother’s funeral (this is not a joke) – this magical term ‘business need’ trumps all, even dead grandmother. You just have to do it for the company and you will truly be publicly shamed (purposely put forth in front of clients with nothing to show) if you counter the point at all. It’s really frightening the power once you are within. If you have not been there, you cannot know it. I cannot even explain it to my extended family in a way that truly explains it.
Y’all are scaring me…. and just to think I am really considering this company…
Read twice and bookmarked. Some things in here really hit home and I stumbled upon this site when researching about Accenture; I got a call to come in to Acc. and wanted to see what they’re about. My research has snowballed into enormous size as I’ve gone from article to article, and there are so many tell-tale signs in here that will make me not even consider a Day 1.
Thank you for your story!!!!
Piss off Accenture ! Bitch IT consultancy !
Accenture is the Nazi concentration camp of the IT industry ! The work culture, ethics and values are beyond reason. It is a finishing school for tomorrows rogue politicians !
Do not risk your values, dignity, soul by working for this scam IT consultacy !
KILL ACCENTURE – THE FILTH OF THE IT WORLD !
ASSVENTURE (Accenture)….Fuck you niggers.
The worst company to work for and deal with in any sort of business.
FUCK FUCK FUCK YOU MOTHERFUCKERS…HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL !
KISS MY ASS ACCENTURE ! Its amazing how this IT consultancy has managed to survive in the industry. It is a big scam. Not only they scam the clients but also their own employees. No wonder the staff has a turn over rate of 1-6 months !
To all Accenture share holders – Sell now before the company collapses because of the sheer weight of law suits against them. Law suits risen from immigration scams, client budget scams, employee abuse etc.
I wasted the few years that I spent there. I wish I had moved out of the company much earlier. The only thing that stopped me was the Global Financial Meltdoww. Now that I am out of the shitty company, feel like a cross has been lifted from my shoulders.
Accenture should be tried in International Court of Justice for crime against humanity.
Accenture – A cesspool of dirty politics, incompetence and mercenary kind of culture .
To all employees who may be looking at a career at Accenture due to lack of information – Please stay away. You will be doing a favor to yourself.
Good riddance to bad rubbish. I am out of this crappy organization.
Here is a Poor Joke for all your blog readers going through this depressive yet factual site.
Whats the similarity and trait affinity between Accenture and Tiger Woods?
A: Both are serial cheats!!! Both are known to screw clients
Atleast Tiger Woods apologised !
Am I just lucky that I’ve never experienced any of so called horrors that have been mentioned in this excessively long diatribe during my 5+ years at Accenture?
Honestly, you really paint quite the dismal picture which I honestly feel is very grossly exaggerated. There’s issues, but what large corporation doesn’t have issues?
You’re going to paint me as an Accenture shill/spy, but this whole post just reeks of melodrama and theatrics.
I worked for Accenture for 5 years. 5 sorry years. Then I quit and my life became rather instantly nice. That’s no exaggeration.
Don’t believe the hype that working for ACN is so much better than living the dull, drab lives you see your clients living. Your life is just as dull and drab. The money you make is not worth it. You don’t realize it until you leave, and then you understand what a soul-less, sterile, cubicle wasteland it is there. Quit now. I quit and had nowhere to go. I moved to L.A. and moved in with a buddy and got a contracting job where I made – once again, no exaggeration – twice what I made at ACN. And I enjoyed my work more.
But wait, it gets better. 6 mo after acquiring this wonderful new consulting job… I quit it. Why? Because consulting sucks. I’m in law school now and I love it. I’m learning the type of stuff I liked to read in my spare time, and life is so much nicer. I love getting up in the morning to learn about what I like. I couldn’t give a fuck about anything I ever did at ACN. The idea of reading about it in my spare time made me physically ill.
I’ll never go to a big law firm b/c it will be like ACN. It will be full of an army of ladder-climbing little douchebags who are truly convinced that their little job and their big firm are important in the world. Never. I will work where I want to.
What’s my lesson? I recommend a three-step process. 1: figure out what it is you like to do (it could be painting naked in your living room.. it doesn’t have to be law school or something that your parents would like to hear). 2: Determine how to do it 3: Quit 4: Get on with your life. If you don’t know what it is you want to do, then still quit.
You only live once. Be good to yourself during the time you have. Your project is not important. Your manager’s status reports are not important. Your health and happiness are very important. For Heaven’s sake, please, please leave ACN.
Except I’ve been happy here for the past 5 years and that hasn’t changed…
Awesome of you to decide what is best for me in my life and what I find interesting.
Oh god, its my first week with ACN.I can see the tell tale signs of whats mentioned here.The fraud mentality is everywhere!I cant take this anymore.I need another job.Wish me well people
Dear Author,
This is pretty on the spot. I couldnt’ find your email for further correspondance on this topic, however, picture if you had to stay at this place for months and I guess you’d have my frustration levels as well.
I’ve never seen a situation this ridiculous before.
-N
You hit the nail on the head! Loved your ranting and couldn’t agree with you more. It’s beyond me how they stay in business or how their clients can be so stupid to engage them in the first place. Kickbacks anyone? I had an unpleasant experience contracting for Accenture last year through an equally disgusting, perverse bunch of lying bastards at an IT staffing agency that they deal with. I was unemployed for about a year at the time when this Techshit staffing agency company asked me if I wanted to work on a contract for Accenture.I knew about their reputation, but desperate as I was, I agreed to work for them. It was total insanity from day one.I knew I wasn’t going to last the full 6 month contract term. I was immediately tasked with working on incident tickets on this humongous piece of shit system that I knew nothing about and that Accenture had developed about twenty years ago. It had more bugs than the Amazon jungle! Are you fucking kidding me I thought to myself? You want me to learn this piece of shit system in a couple days and close these fucking tickets? I was fired after just two months, but I was happy to get out of that hell hole. I was never fired in my entire life from any job. I may starve and freeze to death on the streets, but I’ll still have my dignity…and I hope all those basturds go straight to hell! I heard from one of their employees that they fire people on a regular basis and that shortly before I came, their manager was fired. Many of the employees there hate the company too, but times are really tough so they keep their mouths shut and willingly submit to daily abuse a.k.a torture.
Unprofessional, whiny, childish, inexperienced is how I would describe this blog.
If you may be interested in pursuing a career with this firm (or any for that matter) I would suggest soliciting feedback from someone who’s been in the industry for years (not hours).
If you are interested in presenting yourself to prospective employers with some integrity and professionalism don’t be this guy.
Translation:
When a company like Accenture feeds you a plate of shit, the professional thing to do is chew it, swallow it, and ask politely if you can stay an extra 2 hours in the office for seconds.
It’s interesting that you question my tenure of experience. I was hired to “backfill” somebody out of a team leadership position and I had more experience on the job than all of the people on the team combined. That’s probably why it took me about 2 days to see Accenture for what it is where it takes guys like Stephen an entire career and he still hasn’t figured it out.
If the only thing you’ve known is sweatshops like Accenture, I feel bad for you. You don’t know what you’re missing.
He could just be another “Bob” and that’s why he thinks Accenture is utopia to him. *smirks*
Folks, much of what I’ve read here about ACN, sadly, seems true. Being new to the human capital / change management area, I applied for an analyst level position. The recruiter expressed concern that I wasn’t applying for the consultant position – due to my level of experience – but, again, I explained that I was new to the human capital / change management area. Fine. They put me in the pipeline – skills interview, behavioral interview and finally a face to face with a senior manager and a partner. During the face to face, the partner expressed concern that a more experienced (aka older) employee MAY have trepidation about answering to a younger manager (the ones that joined ACN right out of college and “worked” their way up to management). I responded that no, I’d have no problem with that scenario, that I just want to get in the door. After the interview I learned that they slotted me for a full consultant spot – great – more money etc. But, I was now competing for a spot against candidates with YEARS of experience in the field. So nearly two months later – and after much follow up – the recruiter (the 4th I’d dealt with up to this point) told me that they had an offer, but it needed to be approved. Two days later a different recruiter advised me that not only did I not get an offer for the consultant position, but wasn’t considered for the analyst position either. F*ck! Basically if ACN didn’t have this B.S. belief that older employees won’t listen to younger managers I would have gotten a damn offer…instead I got double-fisted! Probably for the best.
They slotted you for a full consultant position because then they can bill their clients more for your time.
It is absolutely for the best that they didn’t even make you an offer. You would have likely reached the same conclusion that I did as rapidly as I did and they would have wasted their time – and yours.
The games Accenture plays only work on the young, the stupid, or the desperate. Since you and I are none of the above, Accenture is not for us. Unless they want you to join the cabal and groom you for management from day 1. I suspect that they sensed that the dark side was strong in my friend Bob, which is how he managed to go from consultant to director in a year and a half.
Screw these guys.
Trust me, you want the consultant role. If you have any past work experience, you will be fine. I would be concerned if they were trying to bring you in as a manager. The real difference between an analyst and a consultant is that a consultant usually manages one or a few analysts. If you have any past experience managing anyone in almost any capacity you will be fine. They provide so much training that you will be fine. Plus, if you are an intelligent person, it will not take long to come up to speed on change management concepts.
Having been on the ‘inside’ for a while now, I have noticed some grotesque abuse of the client and the company’s money by managers.
Let’s start with the start. From my perspective, this company does try to hire good but not the greatest employees. Your experience with this company will have nothing to do with what you know about what and for how long.
The minute you get in, either there will be a project for which they’re blindly hiring without regard to the big picture and who’s getting staffed; or, worse yet, for a good 4-6 months you will be on the bench.
A good way to get employees on a project is to pair them off with a peer and have them product some output. So while the peer gets all the cream, the new joiner gets completely screwed. By far the worst aspect of working for this company is that, you get hired when you know some ‘manager’.
Managers are anything but. They suck money like vacuum cleaners and have no discernible skills of any value. After months upon months of expensive engagement with a massive bank, all that the managers produced were ‘models’ – a fancy word for large, complicated, unnecessary and worthless road map diagrams. So the client got pissed off and turfed the whole thing.
Now if you work for Accenture you have to know these managers, or worse, they have to know you because they don’t want to step out of their comfort zone and hire someone who may know more than them, or could potentially challenge their style of governance.
So managers tend to hire their friends, relatives and buddies from other cities and countries. The clients then pays for all the rental cars, motels, per diems, and the flight points.
The incompetent buffoons make off with a ton of perks, and ultimately the client gets stuck with a repository of spreadsheets, diagrams, provisioning models, software licenses, and other garbage of little or no value.
It is no surprise therefore, that attrition has become high, new joiners can’t get their foot in the door, and the whole company is a scam – think of a massive planet made of garbage held together by electrical tape (from india as ~40% of their manpower is located there).
Roles that no one wants are posted internally, and generally filled again by friends, buddies, relatives of the managers. Only the public sector, banks, insurance companies and large charities where the monies flow like water can afford Accenture’s sloth. One of the biggest jokes is that their core value of “Client Value Creation” is the biggest oxymoron I’ve ever seen.
It sounds like you should have done some research on the company before accepting a job there. Why are you shocked that Accenture and Avanade people would work together on the same engagement? Avanade is a RELATED enterprise! A JOINT VENTURE!
Not everyone is cut out to work in a large firm, and it sounds like you would be better suited to a small firm environment. It also sounds like you would be better suited to a development role (like your previous job) than a consulting gig.
I find it interesting that you were so offended by being required to sit in a cube. Do you think it would have been a better use of client money (or the profit margin on the project) to rent office space where each person could have their own private space? Consulting, whether you like it or not, is a team sport and the open cube style seating facilitates collaboration and discussion.
I am an ex-ACN’er but I can tell you from past experience, it is what you make of it. Just like any other job or company. If you go into it with a bad attitude, you’ll hate it. It sounds like you were looking for the perks and when you realized they fizzeled with the economy you got upset. Once the economy rebounds, the perks will come back. I enjoyed my experience there and never felt like a “number.” At the end of the day it is what you make of it. If you’re a type A person and highly motivated, you’ll probably thrive there. It’s all about networking internally and making friends with senior managers in your area of interest. I always managed to staff myself to projects that matched my interests and found ways to roll off (you just have to be firm but professional with leadership) when it wasn’t what I expected or I wanted to try something new. I realize not everyone likes this model, but it’s really no differen than how the world works outside Accenture.
Being a former employee of Accenture, a man with over 25 years of IT experience, I agree with much of the negative things said here. Of course, Accenture will say, “With over 100,000 employees worldwide, there’s bound to be some sour grapes”. Here was my experience at Accenture…
During day-2 of their 3-day (yes 3-day) orientation, red flags began to be raised. It seemed that most of the tasks normally done by HR and Management were being dumped on the employees, and that there were an unusually high number of regulations that you can be disciplined for and/or terminated, if these regulations were violated either intentionally or unintentionally. A friend of mine resigned from Accenture during orientation after seeing all of the stuff being dumped on him. In hindsight, I wish I had done the same. I would have been better off in the long run.
More red flags were raised, when I was sitting on the bench, trying to get my first role on their internal jobsite, of which there were few that matched my skillset. I felt like I was trying to find a job all over again. I started thinking to myself, “With so few roles that matched my skillset, why did they hire me in the first place?” The only saving grace was that I was being paid, but I knew that this could not go on indefinitely.
I managed to get on a project, which actually went pretty well. I got along well with the other members of the team and the project leader was a nice, competent, and respectable guy. My time on the project only lasted about 6 weeks, but I got a positive review from the project leader. Then, it was back for another long stint on the bench.
They then flew me and several others on the bench for 5 days of training on a new tool Accenture was going to start using. In 5 short days, we became their “experts” on this tool. I was then finally assigned to another role where I got to use this tool. After providing all the deliverables that were agreed upon, the project leader rolled me off the project, and gave me a pretty negative review, despite being nominated by him for a performance excellence award???
My next project was worse. My project leader, an Indian fellow (surprise surprise), told me that I wasn’t delivering fast enough. He even had the nerve to question my experience, despite the fact that I was writing programs before he even started school back in India. I explained to him that the work given to me had errors and inconsistencies that needed to be corrected before I could deliver it. Long story short, I requested to be rolled off of the project because I couldn’t work for this individual. I then knew exactly what I had gotten myself into when I joined Accenture. I also started getting annoyed at employees being referred to as “resources”. We’re people, human beings!
After 2 weeks looking for my next role, Accenture laid me off. The only satisfaction I got was that I was able to tell the last 2 project leaders what I thought of their reviews. I’m sure this played a role in hastening my departure from Accenture. In fact they did not even pay my 4th week pay which was mandatory. Labor laws which have no value.
This is not to say that Accenture isn’t for everyone. It wasn’t for me. I just wish I realized this before I started. At the time, I needed a job right away, and Accenture was the only thing I had going. In my opinion, Accenture’s employment model is dismal and destined for failure, as was the case when they were Arthur Anderson.
Join at your own risk!!
PROSTITUTE OR CONSULTANT?
•You work very odd hours.
•The client is charged a lot of money to keep them happy.
•The client is charged well but your pimp gets most of the money.
•You spend a majority of your time in a hotel room.
•You charge by the hour but your time can be extended for the right price.
•You are not proud of what you do.
•Creating fantasies for your clients is rewarded.
•It’s difficult to have a family.
•You have no job satisfaction.
•If a client beats you up, the pimp just sends you to another client.
•You are embarrassed to tell people what you do for a living (people ask you what you do and you can’t explain it)
•Your family and friends hardly recognizes you at reunions (at least the reunions you attend).
•Your true friends have distanced themselves from you and you’re left hanging with only other used professionals.
•Your client pays for your hotel room plus your hourly rate.
•Your client always wants to know how much you charge and what they get for the money.
•Your pimp drives nice cars like Mercedes or BMWs and berates you for being worthless.
•Your pimp encourages drinking and you become addicted to drugs to ease the pain of it all.
•You know the pimp is charging more than you are worth but if the client is foolish enough to pay it’s not your problem.
•When you leave to go see a client, you look great, but return looking like hell (compare your appearance on Monday A.M. to Friday P.M.).
•You are rated on your performance in an excruciating ordeal.
•Even though you give your best service, it’s the client who walks away with a frown and the pimp smiling.
•The client always thinks your cut of your billing rate is higher than it actually is, and in turn, expects miracles from you.
•When you deduct your take from your billing rate, you constantly wonder if you could get a better deal with another pimp.
•Every day you wake up and tell yourself you’re not going to be doing this stuff for the rest of your life.
http://www.funnysalescartoons.com/video/accidenture-1?xg_source=activity
Too true.
A group of IT Consultants that I knew of often referred to themselves as “IT Whores”.
I’m not going to say how I know this, but your magniloquent rant is spot on my friend! I can promise you this. You definitely did the right thing by leaving this uninspiring company before your life was completely sucked out of you. I’ve seen it happen to so many others…consider yourself both good and lucky.
So judging from the response, I take it Accenture is not a good place to work?
Thats right ! It is the worst place to work. Initially graduates used to join for the name or more like a stepping stone for better career opportunities. But now it’s the other way around. Uni students stay far clear of Accenture after they graduate, opting elsewhere so that they have better work history.
I am sitting on a call right now listening to the latest in a long line of senior executives talking to a bunch of managers in my group. We are being told to ‘freeze out’ poor performers, ‘turn up the heat’ on those we don’t want around a ‘show them the door’. He gave a pretty clear directive to ‘manage out’ the bottom 10% of performers. To me this exemplifies the Accenture culture. Only last year, the same people we are now being told to manage out were given bonuses for great work. now they are a little more expensive and the margin is a little tighter so rather than spend less on travel, entertaining, marketing, sponsorships and senior executive pay, we cut the same people who made the business what it is.
For anyone reading this thinking that Accenture sounds like a pretty smart business, consider that the effect of the brutal, bullying culture increases attrition, reduces employee engagement and causes the constant loss of experience and skills to other organisations.
Accenture has the capacity to be great, as do most global companies but it is nothing more than a cruel, greed driven, desperate institution, run by self-interested bigots with no regard for the legacy that they leave behind or the responsibility they have for employees and the communities in which they operate.
This is a very typical experience at Accenture. I’m happy you got out as soon as you did. It would have been interesting to hear more about why you had such a bad impression of Accenture before you even started.
We have an interest in Accenture, and this is why I write here. In fact, we recently started the Anti-Accenture Movement.
The Anti-Accenture Movement launched its campaign on the 9th of August, with the purpose of exposing consulting firm Accenture as an highly unethical firm. The web site ExposingEvilEmpire.com is a collaborative campaign that invites Accenture employees, clients, and other stakeholders to share their experiences of the management and IT consulting firm.
I loved your blog post, and we are quite interested in good writers who know Accenture to publish articles on the campaign site and join our movement, perhaps you would be interested? Feel free to contact us through the email posted on our site (you find it in the footer of the page).
Gosh
Finally people in the industry are realising what Accenture is all about. I wish the combined Anti-Accenture movement momentum picks up and becomes a force to reckon with. The team leads, managers and senior executives are the biggest criminals around. these bullying ass-holes have to be brought to justice. I cannot understand why does not Fair work departments in the government take up legal cases of hostile treatment by Accenture? It is about time that Accenture pays for the crimes it has committed. Including the team leads, managers who have to be named and shamed.
I can attest that Avanade collaborates with Accenture and both companies push nothing but Microsoft products into the client’s environment. As for Accenture, I will keep it simple. You guessed it correct! I was a consultant with Accenture and for over two years.
The company loves their new hire campaigns, which are focused on new college grads. This group and their consultants comprise the whole workforce. Management and executives are glorified project managers that take advantage of the workforce, take credit when solutions are delivered and blame it on the workforce whenever the project encounters a hiccup.
Their Accenture Delivery Method (ADM) is nothing but a bunch of paperwork crapola methodology and a great excuse to over bill their clients. The project group might not have delivered, but the fact that they generated ADM related documents ensures collecting a bill. As for bottom 10% “performers,” the company uses that statistic as an excuse for not giving bonuses and pay raises to that small group. Yes, it is also called “de-hiring” techniques. Many of those bottom 10% “performers” received pay raises and bonuses in all their previous years, up until they were assigned to a project that was outside their network and now that strange network blames every documented issued on that consultant.
It is not who you know? It is who you blow? If a network accepts you and welcomes you, you are set with Accenture, otherwise, start looking for another job. Your assessment has NOTHING to do with your attitude, intention, abilities and or performance. It is all about NETWORK. Do you belong to one? Do you have a sponsor/godfather?
HR personnel, these are extremely unprofessional clerks or career managers that are called “HR representative.” The maturity level on these individuals is quite alarming. It is not even worth continuing talking about this group….
In my case, as soon as I had a plan to get out of Accenture I started looking for a local job. I was lucky enough to find a job in town immediately after Accenture announced a voluntary separation program. The program provided a nice package varying on your level, years of service and other parameters if you left on voluntary terms. In my case I ended with over $33k, a smile in the face, and the satisfaction to give them the middle finger birdie. I still have all my emails from when I worked with Accenture and sometimes I wonder if some of the many projects I worked would love be privilege to some of the confidential material.
Are you ready to misrepresent the project to the client? Are you ready to fly on Sundays and all kind of odd schedules? Are you ready to spend countless of hours at the airport? Are you ready to enjoy the hotel room every night? If so, then sure, go ahead and join the consulting warriors. If Accenture is your firm of choice, good luck with finding a network.
On a side note: I like the “PROSTITUTE OR CONSULTANT?” reply herein.
UNABATED CRIMINAL NEPOTISM
I can offer some insight on this since I was on this board just over a year ago worried about all the negativity about Accenture as I was a week away from joining. That was then, now I can fully say and without a single blink, the haters are absolutely spot on. Accenture is a pretty horrible space, I can’t believe I’ve lasted there that long.
Where do we begin?
Let’s starts from the bottom up:
- Grads: They seem to constitute the majority of ACN workforce. On my last project all the non contracting devs were juniors who had joined ACN less that a year ago. Grads are good for ACN in that they can’t yet see the SHIT they are in and are willing to do the travels and all that for that promotion. They will do ANYTHING, one Grad on my project stayed overnight. His manager said thank you, go home and come back in the afternoon, Jeez, he didn’t even give him the day off. But these soldiers are unbelievably hard working, but they have to be since their work quality is extremely below par.
- Mid-Level: Rarity at ACN, and after a while you start to see why. Most Grads cannot get that promotion unless they suck some serious peanuts, and the managers and their ass licker’s take full advantage of that. They’d rather have them as cheap grads then give them promotions. What you have to understand about ACN is that they overcharge their clients ten folds. So if your a grad they don’t have to pay you much and your still working your bloody boxers off, so you’re going to stay there for a few years, that you can count on. That just means that mid-level people don’t exist !
-Seniors: Even rarer. These are almost always returning employees who got lured by ACN to come back on the premise of spending a year then becoming managers. These seniors often are highly demanded on projects to be team leads and so. They are in the big boys league, they treat grads as garbage. Avoid them at all costs, They are not very nice…in fact pathetic.
-Managers: Ahhhh, my favorite, the creme de la creme. These creatures are just something else, they are God’s bestowed people, they have privileges that you will NEVER understand. They treat everybody else like garbage, have a hobby of making your life as hellish as can possibly be and are EXPERTS in blaming others for their pitfalls. They do that so well that they will get promotions year in year out based on that, pure lies.
And that brings me nicely to my last breed…
Senior Execs: Surprisingly nice as individuals, these conniving mofos are the reason ACN fails so hard in life. The are the leaders of the big boys club, the chairmen of the board, the megatrons. They control the game from up above.
And you want to know the major problem with ACN?
NEPOTISM
Their big boys club is also an exclusive club. Strict entry policies are in place, and they involve amongst others:
-Sucking Peanuts
-Licking footballs
-Drinking Manager Juice
-Eating hot brownies
It’s a reality. So if you came across this post and are considering joining this esteemed organization, go right ahead. You will become a corrupt morally reprehensible idiot like all of them. Welcome to the douche bag club, Welcome to Accenture.
Man did I enjoy reading this! I worked for this scumbag company for a few months – and wanted to kill myself every single day. The lies, the backstabing, the gossip, it felt like one long bad movie (or nightmare should I say). I pray to God this shitty company gets exposed for what it is, a band of ruthless thieves. Good luck to you all!
F*ck dem accenture scum bags
Bureaucratic environment and “Mark to Market” accounting practices (which were used by Arthur Andersen on Enron) are inflating profits and concealing losses exceeding hundreds of millions per year. To offset losses, new outsourcing business must be booked with 25-30% profit margin (a.k.a. Contract Controllable Income) for time and materials, or in the 40-50% range for managed services or consulting fixed term engagements.(It would actually be cheaper for clients to poach Accenture employees at a 20% premium of their current salary and eliminate Accenture as a pimp). Losses are due to seriously corrupted bureaucracies within Accenture, namely Methods and Tools group who base software tool selection on vendor conference locations, hospitality incentives, and overt kickbacks.
Accenture “methods” are nothing more than revamped industry standards from PMBOK, ITIL, CMMI, and IEEE Software guidelines which are already well known by legitimate software engineering professionals.
Actual Accenture experts” possess no legitimate qualifications beyond Wikipedia web surfing (Wikipedia links are actually cited in official Accenture presentations as academic references). Unlike client engagement teams, Methods and Tools group are accountable only to themselves, so they blatantly float (like the Wally character on Dilbert) by working from vacation locations, using core work hours for personal errands and fitness training, and generally abusing the trust.
It is now so bad that they won’t even be accountable for testing their own releases, but deploy automatically into client’s production environment – caveat emptor to our esteemed Accenture customers !
I have a final-round interview this Friday. I am (present tense) considering this company. Thanks for your input. I’ve heard of the Facebook Ex-Avanade group and many blogs/articles about Avanade’s culture.
I already have an offer lined up but I wanted to give Avanade the chance even though their pay is shitty. Also, loved the conversation between you and cuntface.
I have a final-round interview this Friday. I am (present tense) considering this company. Thanks for your input. I’ve heard of the Facebook Ex-Avanade group and many blogs/articles about Avanade’s culture.
I already have an offer lined up but I wanted to give Avanade the chance even though their pay is shitty. Also, loved the conversation between you and cuntface.
I think this blog post combined all the negative things I’ve read about Avanade.
It’s ok to be in Accenture. But to be part of Avanade. Damn, you will easily get caught in the world of politics. You won’t grow here, you will be stuck and resignation will be the only way out.
Also, beautiful ladies here. Beware! There are really big bad wolves here.
Reblogged this on crims0n8 and commented:
Tr
@crims0n8. WTF ! You are saying that it is okay to be in Accenture when compared to Acanade??????? Dude…………….Avanade is the bastard child of Accenture. You can imagine how bad the parent will be ! Accenture is scum. There is no doubt about it. Yet idiots fall for their brand and join their job campaign, only to get battered and bruised. Then they come on forums like this one and went out their pain. Accenture has to be made aware that they cannot go on scaring their employees for life.
What’s written here is true although people could express themselves in a more professional manner. I think it shows the level of frustration from those who have been there.
If you have a heart you won’t last long and if you stick around you won’t move up. You’ll have a nagging feeling that something just isn’t right from the very beginning and yes a day or two on the job is plenty to sense something is messed up here. The complete lack of civility in how people treat each other is evident and tolerated. I thought maybe I needed to toughen up so I hung in there hoping it might get better. Anything you say in the office especially in confidence to a manager will be repeated. I’ve never seen such lack of professionalism.
If drama and pettiness are what you are looking for you’ll find it here. I want to do my job and do it well, not get wrapped up in all of the nonsense but avoiding it is impossible. I tried my best to bring about positive change, it took me a long time to figure out it was all a waste of time and grew tired of seeing colleagues burnt out, depressed and miserable. Most don’t bother doing anything about it.
You become like the people you surround yourself with so I decided i’d better leave now before I turn into one of them.
Please do not join Accenture. It is the worst company ever you will see. Nothing is transparent in the company. In the name of process they will make you the scape goat in the project. No increment/position change even after 4 years in the company. Attrition rate in Accenture is the highest as of now among IT companies.
[...] This describes accurately my feelings on my one (loooong) month of work at Accenture. [...]
I can’t agree more after reading this blog. I was employeed by a company jointed owned by Accenture and Microsoft. Our sales guys rely heavily on Accenture sales team. So 95% of project we work on owned / managed by Accenture. I was put on an Accenture project last Auguest and supposed to be rolled off in December. But they just kept extending my roll off date. I am booked till end of this year! The Accenture management doesn’t care about us. To them we are just the subcontractor, but this doesn’t mean they don’t over-push us. I just resigned last Tuesday. In all honesty, it has been an extrememly difficult experience. From the moment i resigned, all the craps just dumped on me as if it’s one of the Accenture exiting process to make my life hell. I have been working from 7am to 8pm since the first day I joined the project. Because thats the “office hours” our Accenture Project Manager has decided on. I have been working even longer hours since I resigned, 7am to 10pm every day since past Tuesday! Guess what, they don’t even allow me to take my Time in Lieu before I leave and they are expecting me to work over time this weekend and next weekend FOR FREE as the only benefit i get for working overtime is time in lieu but I CANT EVEN USE IT! I can only hope the following 3 weeks can go faster! Seriously, I had enough of this.
I did go for promotion review about a month ago, I got 26 pages recommendation from the people I work with. But my Acceture Project manager was “too busy” to give me feedback. When they heard that i am going for promotion, the first thing they did was extending my contract on the project, so i can “give back” what they have been offered to me!
My experience with Accenture: bad working culture, lowest pay on the market, terrible management.
Check out the linke below on Accenture’s terrible work culture and histroy:
exposingevilempire.com
I joined Accenture as a fresher 4 years ago….I was very happy with the training program as it was related to the domain I liked. So much was my enthusiasm that I topped the training in my batch. But due to bullshi* policies I was allocated to a completely different domain. Even then I slogged and performed all my given tasks well in time….what did I get in the appraisal? – “Meets Expectations” – and without any proper justification. A brain-dead maintenance project which was absolutely monotonous (full of countless 5 year old bugs which people now at TL/PM level developed)….micro management by a mothe*fu**ing Manager who was a master of playing politics. Every day was an ordeal. Thank god that I left immediately after my bond period got over to join another company which not only paid well but also recognized my contribution and ability. Now I am happily pursuing my MBA from one of the top 5 B-schools in the US and won’t recommend ANYONE to join this blood-sucking company which is a fiefdom of incompetent regional politics players . Please avoid this company to secure your career.
I was with accenture for 1 full year. When I quit, I gave them 3 day`s notice. I was so digsuted by this company by that time that I tell everyone never to do business with them. I was in one of their massive avanade offices. Avanade often came to my university campus and I would covet a job with them until I actually got one.
Everything they told me was a lie. I was taken on by 5 projects in the first 6 months and dropped from 4 of them at the last minute because the client pooped all over their dreams of overbilling, flights, hotels, per diems, and rental cars. I then chose a job with their software division as a consultant. They bought an insurance software vendor and… well long story short, even the people who sold them their life ins. platform bailed and started something new. Accenture has monkeys in gucci suits who talk about `strategy`, `provisional models`, `governance`, and a slew of my* websites that your career `counselor` wants you to visit. That`s why they`re not designing mom and pop`s drapery shop. They do business with government and banks. And even they are dropping them when they smarten up.