Humanity? Please.

My misguided socialist cousin thought this quote from some nonsense progressive publication would be the best way to show her respect for the country that gives her luxuries most of the billions of people who ever lived would kill to have, such as luxuries to not actually work but instead whine about a world she’ll never change no matter how much she tweets about injustice:

We need to refute the idea that our nation is different from, morally superior to, the other imperial powers of world history.

We need to assert our allegiance to the human race, and not to any one nation.

You know what I say?

Fuck the human race.

And fuck the author of this quote for being such a bumbling idiot.  So many people are so quick to jump on the bandwagon of self loathing when it comes to the United States of America, such as my stupid cousin who never has anything good to say about us and instead only whines that we’re imperialist monsters, but yet they are so insurmountably blind to a rather glaring fact that it’s staggering.

If America is so evil and awful, what makes you possibly think the rest of the world isn’t?

Or, should I say, wouldn’t be if the shoe were on the other foot.  It’s impossible to truly speculate exactly how any other given nation, culture, or group would react if they were handed the power our government currently wields.  But based on everything history has taught us, and based on everything we see of the world as it is now, how could you possibly believe they’d do a better job?

Let’s take one of my cousin’s favorite topics: Israel is an evil oppressor and Palestine is a poor oppressed victim of imperialism.

If Hamas had the military capability that the United States had, what do you think they would do?

Or Al Qaeda?  The answer is they would kill millions and millions and millions of people.  If you think the holocaust was bad you ain’t seen nothing yet.  Imagine a theocratical radical muslim regime that already today rattles its sabres to the effect that all infidels must be killed so that Allah might return.  Imagine they actually had the might to enact that plan.  Guess what, cousin?  You’d be dead.  Or in a burka, which might as well be the same thing.

I’d rather be a colony of Israel than of Palestine any day.

(And also, fuck you, socialist cousin.  I’d love to see how kind you’d be to Palestine if they were firing rockets on Pittsburgh.)

If any given despotic African regime – and of those there are many, so take your pick – had the military capability that the United States had, what do you think they would do?

These people are known to roll into the villages of their rebel enemies and slowly hack innocent people – men, women, and chilren – limb from limb with dusty machetes.  They take pleasure in positioning their limbless victims in plain view of the pile of limbs that used to be them to further their suffering while they bleed to death.  Do you want these people to have unmanned aerial assault vehicles?

The point is:

If America is no different or morally superior to any other empire, then doesn’t it stand to reason that we’re no different or morally superior to the “human race” at large?

Empires don’t become empires through some kind of grand clandestine conspiracy.  They become empires through the natural evolution of human civilization.  All people and all nations are competing against one another at all times and eventually one will rise to the top and stay on top until it falls.

We Americans are incredibly lucky to be living as citizens of a virtually invincible empire at the height of its power during the most luxurious period of human existence.

If that’s not something to be thankful for, I don’t know what is.  As for pledging my allegiance to the human race?  Fuck that.  America isn’t perfect but it sure as shit beats any alternative, and I’m proud to call myself an American.

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