California Sucks

I’m just going to come out and say it.  The only reason people live in California is because it has beautiful weather.  That is what makes California what it is.  If you somehow airlifted California and dropped it on top of Saskatchewan, leaving everything else intact, people would flee the state en masse because it’s a crappy state to live in.

I have always been skeptical about people who move to a place because of its weather.  The reason is simple.

Suppose you’re an archaic homo sapiens, say, circa 900,000 years ago.  Your middle eastern stomping grounds are getting kind of crowded and you’re an ambitious young buck who wants to be the chief of your own tribe.  Why not?  The chief always gets the hottest tail.

East?  Nah.  Persian gulf.  West?  Nah.  Mediterranean Sea.  South?  Nah.  People live there.  North?  Sure!  That sounds good.

Except the farther north you go, the farther into Europe you go.  And guess what?  It’s freaking cold in Europe, and cave bears who literally stand 12 feet tall live in all of the caves.  If you’re a half-wit, you’re going to either freeze to death or get eaten by a cave bear.  It’s harder to live in cold places.  I argue that if the entire world had the climate of California, we would still be living in caves because there would never be any incentive to progress any further.  You aren’t going to freeze to death and there’s food growing on trees year-round because it’s sunny, warm, and 75 degrees for 350 out of 365 days per year.  Nothing inspires creativity and ingenuity like otherwise inevitable starvation and hypothermia.

You’ll note, mind you, that most of the people who start enormous businesses that everybody has boners for like fucking Google were started by people who emigrated to the state from somewhere else because they were sick of winter.

I’m not going to deliver a littany of all of California’s problems; you know what they are.  I will instead share with you a brief anecdote: my college buddy who hails from Capetown, South Africa moved out to California with a girl who grew up about 10 minutes from where I currently work on the east coast (although her family came from Boston).  They love the weather.  They live near fucking Google’s offices.  But she is now pregnant and they are seriously talking about moving back to the east coast.  Obviously, part of it is so that she can be close to her mother.  But the biggest part is the fact that they have no chance in hell of buying real estate in California.  Combined, they probably make about the same or slightly more than my wife and I do.  But we own a house and they own shit.  They complain about the taxes and they don’t want their children going to school with classes half full of illegals who don’t speak English.  She is a raging liberal, by the way, and they both voted for Obama.

Despite the reality of California, Time recently posted this bullshit.  To quote:

Its voters approved huge bonds for stem-cell research, high-speed rail and repairs to aging infrastructure while Washington was dragging its feet; its politicians adopted first-in-the-nation greenhouse-gas regulations, green building codes and efficiency standards for automobiles and appliances that have rearranged the national energy debate. Yes, it was also an early adopter of subprime mortgages — Countrywide, Golden West and IndyMac were all California-based — but life on the frontier has always been risky.

This paragraph is trying to make it sound like California is cutting-edge and that these supposed pros are actually a good thing.  Stem-cell research?  How is that good?  Greenhouse-gas regulations?  When your children are laughing at you for being so fucking retarded that you actually believed in global warming, remember that you read this blog and if only you had listened to me you wouldn’t have elected some assclown who raised your energy bills by 25% so you could pay for an imaginary solution to an imaginary problem.

And of course, the coup de grace of this piece: yes, our companies fucked the entire nation with subprime mortgages, but “life on the frontier has always been risky.”

What the fuck.   What frontier?  The pacific ocean?  Give me a break.  So when California adopts bullshit expensive legislation that does nothing but bankrupt them they’re leading us with steady,  sage-like wisdom and carrying the torch for the nation’s progress, but when its companies play a huge part in throwing the entire world into a recession, we’re supposed to chalk it up to the romantic notion of the wild wild west?  You’ve got to be kididng me.

Normally I wouldn’t give a shit because blaming a U.S. state for problems caused by companies that are headquartered there is fucking stupid, but the author of this propoganda turd does so fully in trying to establish how great California is because fucking Google has its offices there and Steve Jobbs invented the iPhone in San Francisco.  It works both ways, jack ass.

The 1855 book The Land of Gold dismissed it as “lawless, penniless and powerless.”

The author of The Land of Gold – yes, we underline book titles – was a prophet.  See?  Some ideas stay relevant for a very long time and don’t require “progress” to correct.  Another example of this would be the United States Constitution.  Lawless?  If immigration is the standard, then check.  Penniless?  Who would deny that?  Powerless?  Debatable.  But money talks and bullshit walks, so no matter how sunny it is in the Sunshine State, if California’s coffers are empty and its checks bounce, then no one will care what “California” thinks.

TIME published a woe-is-California issue called “The Endangered Dream” in 1991 after the aerospace industry collapsed.

But of course.  TIME was wrong then, but now it’s right.

But even with 12% unemployment, California still has an enviably young and productive workforce.

It’s amazing what happens when millions of Latinos flee the stinking shit holes they were unlucky enough to find themselves born into and grab on to the sides of trucks heading north to wind up in a slightly less stinking shit hole where they can collect free services and become parents of American citizens and therefore virtuall undeportable simply by having unprotected sex.

There’s only so many lawns that need to be cut and so much trash that needs to be picked up.  That young productive workforce is unskilled labor that quite frankly we can do without.  The only reason California gets away with it is because these people are illegal and they get paid under the table.  If California’s young, productive workforce were legal and then tried to compete with China’s young, productive, and massively cheaper workforce on unskilled labor such as manufacturing, they’d get their asses kicked.

When it comes to energy, California is not just ahead of the game; it’s playing a different game. Its carbon emissions per capita are less than half the U.S. average. And from 2006 to ’08, it attracted $3 of every $5 invested in U.S. clean tech — five times as much as the No. 2 state. It’s by far the national leader in green jobs, green patents, supply from renewables and savings from efficiency. It’s also leading the way toward electric cars, zero-emission homes, advanced biofuels and a smarter grid: its electric utilities plan to install smart meters in every California home.

Bwahahaha.  Total waste of time and money.  This just makes an already expensive place even more expensive.  And you wonder why California is bankrupt?  Not, of course, that there is a direct correlation between its budget woes and it’s green industry – I’m sure there isn’t – but this kind of senseless and stupid government regulation is merely a symptom of a deeper problem – a legislation prone to believe in stupid things and voters prone to elect stupid people who also believe in stupid things themselves.

This public-sector foresight has created alluring opportunities for the most tech-savvy private sector on earth. The venture capitalists behind the high-tech and biotech booms see clean tech as the next big score.

This is called milking a fad for all it’s worth.  Liberals hate the rich.  This is what the rich do.  They play on the public’s mass stupidity, make a fortune selling them stupid shit they don’t need, and then laugh all the way to the bank in their 16 cylinder 8mpg hogs with supermodels bobbing on their dicks.

But the state’s business culture fetishizes long-shot ventures and game-changing ideas. Failure is appreciated, not stigmatized, and an entrepreneur without a few busted start-ups on his résumé is almost suspect.

Where do I sign up?

I need to stop.  TIME magazine will probably sue me if I keep quoting their bullshit story about bullshit California.

Ugh.

“A Day Without Gay” Totally Misses the Point

What a crock.

Apparently after their iconic defeat in California the gays are stepping up their “in your face” efforts by staging a “call out” – in other words, suggesting all homosexuals in the United States inform their bosses they won’t be coming in to work for a single day to prove a point.  The point being that gays are important to the economy.

This idea might garnish more respect if it weren’t directly plagiarised from the latino immigrant community a few years ago.

This idea might garnish more respect if it didn’t completely miss the fucking point of the latino immigrant demonstration.

First, gays are not going to go away, regardless of whether or not we let them marry each other.  The entire point of latino immigrant demonstration was, “you need our contribution to the economy, don’t deport us.”  That was the issue.  Their goal was not to remind their employers that they are latino.  Their goal was to remind their employers that we shouldn’t boot them out of the country.

Second, the illegal immigrants would be forced to leave the country.  The corrolary for the gay community, if we were to return to the pre-gay-liberation era when gays stayed in the closet, is exactly that – they would be forced to stay in the closet.  That has nothing to do with whether or not they show up to work every day, now does it?  The latinos would show up to work if they could – they were fighting for their continued right to choose to show up to work.  Gays are legal citizens regardless of who they screw, so as you can see, there is no relationship at all.

Third, speaking of closets, many gay people are closeted or follow the don’t ask don’t tell policy at their places of employment as a matter of convenience.  Homophobia still exists in this country.  If I were gay, I’d stay closted simply so I didn’t have to deal with base judgments by everyone I ever meet.  This fact puts a damper on the “gay call out”.  Latinos can’t hide the fact that they’re latino, and they can’t hide the fact that they are illegal immigrants (to their employers).

Lastly, this is actually a step backward for the gay movement.  Since most thinking people can conclude the three facts that I just pointed out on their own, they, like me, have to wonder: why can’t you come to work, exactly?  If being gay makes you more likely to arbitrarily skip a day of work to shove your victim mentality down my throat, why should I want to hire you at all?  This kind of behavior makes employers more likely to discriminate against gays because heterosexuals don’t stage protests that involve calling in sick.

I’m glad the majority of gays in this country came to the same conclusions that I did and chose not to participate.  Even if they can’t marry, at least they can think.

The Only Solution is to Leave

In the next 20-30 years we are going to see a lot of population shifting going around in the United States.

Chiefly, right-minded people will flee states like Massachusettes and California.

When the courts rule in those states that their public education systems will teach whatever they want in the name of tolerance while simultaneously displaying zero tolerance for anyone who isn’t tolerant regardless of parental consent, the only recourse citizens of those states will have is to relocate.

Unfortunately America is turning into 1984.  Those who preach tolerance the loudest are themselves the least tolerant, and their methodology is sinister.  The school systems are wildly leftist and liberal.  Couple this with parents who are barely involved with their children, and you have a totally unapologetic, systemic brainwash machine targetting young impressionable minds.  These people are just as guilty at pushing their ludicrous agendas as the people they scorn in movies like Jesus Camp.  The only difference is which ideological worldview is being forced upon children.

The problem is that the world is rapidly running out of acceptable places to go.  The people who push most for diversity will be the most responsible for killing it when it becomes a thought crime to express an idea like homosexuality is a choice or that stay at home motherhood is a good idea for most women.  It’s already happened on both the east and west coasts, and it will start to spread inward.

There will always be opposition to wrong ideas, even when entire generations of children are force-fed nonsense in public schools.  The same exact principles that liberals believe are liberating them from the shackles of outdated concepts like religion or absolute morality will liberate their opponents from the intellectual bonds they would put on them.

I’d love to say that it will be possible to stem this tide but unfortunately the concept of states’ rights in these United States has long been forgotten in this country in favor of an all-powerful central government.  Most people care more about who their president is than who their governor is, or who sits on their state supreme courts.  As we can see in Massachusettes & California, these details actually matter far more than who the president is.  I’ll give the Prop 8′ers some due credit: I haven’t heard any of them insinuate that Bush was somehow involved in its passing.

The only solution will be to flee.  To move.  To relocate.  I am already prepared to deal with the bastardization of “education” that public schooling has become, but as Massachusettes has shown, the schools and the courts are cut from the same cloth.  If I have no recourse to protect my children from abject indoctrination of poisonous ideals, my only options are private schooling or moving to a better state.  I’ll be damned if I spend thousands of dollars on property taxes yearly to prop up a school that seeks to destroy so much of what I love about this country while simultaneously paying out of pocket for private schooling and getting no tax credits for doing so.

The only solution is to leave.  Better start thinking about where you’ll go.

Where’s the judgment?

I was watching some dopey reality TV show the other day, and I noticed something that is obvious but thanks to the mind-numbing effects of shows like these, I had never really thought much deeper about it until now.

Ever since Survivor, the standard pattern of reality shows is: group of young beautiful people show up at some mansion, frequently in Mexico where insurance is cheaper, perform dopey challenges, and are slowly whittled down until only one one person is left.

The first observation I have about this pattern is the overuse of democracy.  Most of these shows, including Survivor, and nearly every crappy competition show on MTV/VH1, involve the group voting one of their own off the show.  While there’s usually an angle, like if you actually win the competition you can’t get voted off, it still boils down to the group making its own decision.

I thought about this because when I actually saw for the first time a situation where instead of the winner being rewarded, the loser was sent home by the host without a cutesy little pow-wow where his teammates get to condemn him.

This event was refreshing to me.

It’s disappointing to me how these fallacious microcosms called reality TV shows suggest to the public that decisions about who wins and loses are made by a group, and the authorities above (e.g., the show’s host and crew) are charged only with enforcing the rules.

At face value you might think to yourself, but hey, that’s how America works!  That’s what a democracy is!  The people choose, and the government only makes sure all the rules are followed!

The deficiency here – and the part that saddens me – is the manner in which these decisions are made.  If reality TV is a reflection of the democratic process, it’s no wonder that Barack Obama can base entire campaign on five letters.

The method that is used to determine who goes home is based chiefly on “alliances”.  The translation of “alliance” is some bitches whisper in dark alleys and bloc vote whoever they don’t like.  Very rarely do the players’ performances in challenges actually reflect their likelihood of winning or losing.

You aren’t judged on skill, intelligence, or even luck.  You don’t need these things on a reality show.  All you need to do is kiss the right ass and stay on the right side of the majority.   You don’t need to be objectively better than any of the other competition, you just need more than half of the other players to vote your competition off.

This is a very shallow interpretation of how to survive in the world.  I feel sorry for kids who grew up watching TV shows like this.  Boy will they be in for a surprise when they get fired for the first time.  They’ll never get their chance to convene the tribal council of their coworkers and democratically elect which one of them gets fired, oh no.  Their boss makes that decision, informs them, and then they are escorted off of the premises by security.  Oh, and also, their paychecks stop coming.

It’s no wonder people can’t connect with religion.  One of the chief concepts of virtually all religions is that you are being judged from above by a being who makes independent decisions without democratic input from anyone.  This concept fits well in the natural world.  When the hungry sabretooth stalks your hunter gatherer camp, it chooses which one of you to eat.  You don’t get to vote which one of you gets dysentery.  You don’t sacrifice one of your own.  You have no control over your fate, or the fate of the rest of your camp.  Something else is choosing your destiny for you – or maybe not, maybe it’s all random chance – but the last thing it could be called is a group decision.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again – all of these fancy aspects of life we enjoy so much, such as civilization and democracy, are luxuries.  Try to imagine how the world would be if all of our modern trappings were taken away.  We’re still human beings and we’ll still get hungry.  How do you suppose things would play out?

Unfortunately, we can’t show reality on TV, mostly because the resulting scenario would be too horrifying for all of the idealogues to stomach.  If Survivor were actually about surviving, it doesn’t take a great amount of creativity to imagine how the islanders would have behaved.  The last thing they would have done is assemble a democratic tribal council and voted on who gets to eat and who doesn’t.  The strongest males would instantly band together and control all of the resources, giving only to themselves and any attractive women with whom sex is traded for food.  The starving betas with no resources would attack out of desperation and they’d kill each other.  That’s how life actually is.

But actual life is too hard for a lot of people – especially those who know they’d be in the starving beta group if such a scenario were to play out – so they erect the kind of facade that the Survivor we all saw neatly depicts.  There’s no starving, no fighting, no non-consensual fucking (although on more than one occasion the girls on Survivor were more than willing to take off their clothes for Oreo cookies).  That’s exactly when Survivor’s ratings started going down hill because all of the people who live in the fairytale world of pretend and political correctness (100% of liberals) didn’t want to see the wicked truth of the real world.  When the air conditioning is shut off, when there are no flush toilets, when the only thing to eat – god forbid – is plain white rice – women instantly forget ideas like self dignity, self control, values, and words like “objectification.”  They’re willing to whore themselves out for food.  So much for feminism, right?

If you have children, you are doing them a disservice to let them watch reality TV with its nonsense rules where consensus is the only factor in winning and losing without explaining to them in no uncertain terms that in no way does reality TV depict reality.  In the real world, judgment comes from above, not from within.  Then again, if your family is religious, your kids already know that.

The Internet Breeds Narcissism & Conceit

I am afraid that the internet breeds two dangerous traits in people.

The first is narcissism.  I believe social networking sites like MySpace and Face Book are the major culprits here.  I bet everyone who reads this has at least one “friend” on one of those sites who seems to constantly post trite & meaningless photos excruciatingly chosen out of a pool of thousands to portray them in the best possible light – both figuratively and literally.  How many times have you been out at a restaraunt when a group of bubbly idiots comes in (they are usually teenagers, but I have seen plenty of 20-somethings guilty of this also) and no sooner do they sit down do they start snapping what my girlfriend and I have called the “myspace photo lol” ad infinitum.

They do this for one reason: to prove to all their online stalkers how much fun and exciting their lives are.  “Look at us, we went out and had zany hijinx!”  The implication as you look at these photos is, “I went out and a had good time, but you are sitting on your fat ass stalking me and trying to live vicariously though my awesome pictures that were totally worth the battery life of my digicam.   Aren’t I so f’ing special?”

After long enough people start to believe this shit themselves.  I mean, look at Tila Tequila.  She managed to elevate herself from a dime-a-dozen cheap asian nude model on a 2 bit internet porn site into a pop culture… icon?  I’m sure she’s made millions of dollars for posting softcore porn on her MySpace page.  Did Tila have self esteem issues before MySpace came along?  Maybe, who knows.  But I know one thing for certain: she doesn’t have any self esteem issues now.

FaceBook and MySpace encourage people to stretch the truth of their boring and routine existences to appear as cool as possible.  The danger here is that a lot of  young people start to believe their own social networking site lies and live as if their profile and MySpace LOL pictures are an accurate portrayal of their actual lives.

Practical advice: don’t associate with people who have excessively cool online personas and a lot of picutres taken with large groups of interchangeable friends at shitty chain restuarants in mediocre suburban towns.  These people have an unrealistically elevated perception of themselves and the meaning of life.

The second negative trait that the internet breeds is equally common and more ubiquitous, and that is conceit.  I could be accused of succumbing to this conditioning, but at least I am aware of it.  What I mean by “the internet breeds conceit” is the confrontation-free confrontations that can occur on the internet – any time you can post a message about anything, you can flame the hell out of someone without any of the instinctual situational stimuli that prevent the kind of internet flaming from ever occuring in a verbal interaction between two people in the same room.  If internet flaming happened in real life, everyone would be bandaged and bruised all the time because people would get hurt.

The result of this kind of passive, easy-to-deliver opining is conceit, because there are never consequences to flaming.  If someone gives me shit about my true and accurate Messianic musings on this blog, they can hit the “post comment” button, browse away from the page, never bother coming back, and feel as though they corrected my incorrect view point.  In real life, that kind of interaction is absurd.  When you’re in the same room with someone and you’re having a conversation, there has to be some kind of resolution when you disagree.  Sometimes that resolution is that one of you gets up and walks away, but that leaves a very real, emotional, lasting imprint on your head, and at the very least, makes you realize that the person you were just interacting with has vested emotions in their position and if you respect that person at all you might be willing to give rise to the idea that while you still believe your beliefs are right, other beliefs can legitimately be held by people you know and interact with on a daily basis.

Not so on the inernet.  Every time I write a blog post, every time I comment on one, I am right in my own head and therefore I simply disregard any other written opinion by anonymous people I don’t know and haven’t evaluated on any other metric aside from their screen name.  I leave 100% of my online encounters with the belief that I am always totally right.

This is a real problem.

I believe the result will be that the internet generation that is growing up now in this kind of environment will be highly polar on the issues I like to talk about on this blog.  People will not respect each other’s opinions because they’ve spent a lifetime in a social medium in which there is no good reason ever to respect anyone else’s opinions and where people like me can spout theirs all day without ever legitimately being challenged.

I plan on keeping a very keen eye on both of these behaviors in my future children.  The internet is a very dangerous environment in which children will be raised.  Aside from all the R-, X-, and MA-rated content that we will be unable to protected our young children from, it might develop these personality characteristics in them also.  The only solution is strong parenting.  No, not ban the internet.  Just explain it like I’ve explained it, and explain why the internet is so freaking fake.  Hopefully I’ll be able to get the point across.

Women on NFL Teams

“I support gay marriage.”

The next time you say this, I want you also to add this:

“I also support allowing women to play for the Rams and the Raiders, because someone’s gender should not disqualify them from any institution.”

Sounds pretty ridiculous doesn’t it?  But then again, technically marriages are administered by the state and the NFL is a private organization, which is the same distinction that allows the Boy Scouts to openly discriminate against gays.  That’s a mighty fine line though, isn’t it?

My only problem with gay marriage is that it makes gay parenting easier, and I don’t like the idea of gay parenting simply because I ask myself this question: would I have wanted to be the kid in school who has two daddies?  I took enough shit for wearing glasses, let alone having gay parents.  Come on.

So many people are so obsessed with the idea of “equality” that they believe anyone should be allowed to do anything no matter what, and they’ll pour millions into studies to try desperately to prove that kids who are raised in gay househoulds are normal.  But they forget all these facts because the thought that somehow choosing to live an out, gay lifestyle should close any door that staying closeted or being straight opens for you is some kind of crime against humanity.  I’m all for giving people freedoms but I’m also a fan of letting them bear the consequences of the decisions they make.  Sure, you could argue that the consequences like, “you can’t get married” is artificial and arbitrary, but you know what?  The entire institution of marriage is arbitrary and articial too, now isn’t it?  And you know why gays are so desperate to be married?  Legally, that is?  Because it comes with tax benefits and a bunch of other money-saving kind of things that are designed to help families overcome the extra costs associated with children.  Since I don’t believe that gays should be raising children, I don’t support gay marriage.  To be fair, by the way, I don’t believe that single parents should be attempting to raise children either.

One thing I’d like to add: most people who are “progressive” and support culture-raping policies like gay marriage are usually anti-religion and say things like, “to believe in God you have to make all sorts of crazy rationalizations lol!!”  But then when I ask them a simple question about what’s best for the children, they start making wild rationalizations about how it really is OK to let pretty much any kind of crazy family situation raise children, despite volumes of evidence to the contrary, not to mention basic common sense.

Oh, and when you’re done professing your support of women playing on men’s professional sporting teams, please also espouse your support of Warren Jeffs.  Polygamists have rights, too, you know.  Marriage shouldn’t be restricted to only two people.  Oh wait?  That’s right, polygamy isn’t mainstream, isn’t a progressive issue, and is diluted by the fact that it’s religiously motivated (despite the fact that marriage is unilateraly a religious institution anyway).  Therefore, fuck Warren Jeffs, but gay marriage?  Hell yeah!

Hypocrites.

RE: Flipping the Switch

RE: Flipping the Switch

Oh Jack.

I think this post sums up the arrested development of young people that is fetch in the 2000′s.  The typical reaction to this lifestyle shift is “Ooh, wow, you dropped your corporate gig ’cause like, it was sucking your soul and stuff… you’re a rockstar!  Wanna make out?”

My take is this: Jack tried out adult life and decided he didn’t like it, so he decided to return to childhood for a few more years.  Maybe when he’s 29, 32, 36… he’ll decide to engage in adult living again.

Lots and lots of people come to this conclusion.  90% of them “go back to school” and enter some pointless graduate program and fritter away their 20′s not really accomplishing a whole hell of a lot.  Graduate school is the socially acceptable way of saying “I’m not grown up enough to be an independent adult so I need to spend a few more years in the incubator (a.k.a. institutionalized education).”

One of my dad’s favorite expressions is “it’s later than you think.”  It’s not that I don’t understand what drives these people to drop out of adult society to do stupid things like take bit bartending jobs or get useless graduate degrees, it’s just that I don’t relate to it at all.  Look, I spent almost 18 years in institutionalized education.  Our society has more or less prescribed that it takes at least that long for a person to be prepared to function as an adult, and I agree.  Obviously, it varies.  One of my dad’s other favorite expressions is that I was “born at 30.”  I couldn’t wait to get out of bullshit school so I could actually get on with my life.

I wish more or my peers would understand what they’re really doing by disengaging in life by doing things like quitting their jobs.  Yeah, work sucks.  Sitting in an office sucks.  But it doesn’t suck that much.  You know what sucks worse?  Ignoring any and all responsibility until you wake up one day with changed priorities and you break out in a cold sweat because you realize you’re 35 and your prime years are behind you, and you have absoluely nothing to show for it except for some glory stories that nobody at the age of 35 gives two shits about.

What you’re doing with your life, Jack, is pissing it away.  “Oh no Evan, you’re the one who’s pissing his life away sitting in your cubicle lol!  I am grabbing life by the horns and enjoying every minute of every day instead of hating it!”  Maybe – we’ll talk again 10 years from now and we’ll see who has more regrets.

The thing about doing what these guys do - mainly just enough to eek out a living and then party all the time – is that it’s like eating sugar cubes.  It’s great at the time, but when you’re done, you didn’t get anything out of it.  What I’m doing – and others like me who suck it up and sit in the cube instead of pissing away the day at borders and the gym – are building the foundation for the stuff that really matters, which these poor guys won’t realize matters until they’re a decade later and they’ve already wasted so much time, and they will beat themselves up far more than they revel in the good old days.  Or worse – they’ll do nothing but revel.  You’ve met old men who are revelers.  Are they fun to be around?

I guess my point here is that there’s absolutely nothing glorious about quitting a “real” job and getting a bartender gig which gives you the freedom to do a lot of nothing.  The correct adjective to use is tragic.  Because one day, when you decide you want to do something other than tend bars, go to the gym, and score one night stands, you will have to start at 35 instead of 25.  No big deal, right?  They say 40 is the new 30, 30 is the new 20, right?  It’s later than you think.

Spitzer and the Whore

Here’s something to think about:

Elliot Spitzer lost his job.  He will go down in history disgraced.  His life is effectively over.

Ashley Alexandra Dupre is famous.  She has received two separate offers of over $1,000,000 each from Hustler and Girls Gone Wild to pose naked (something she already has done for Girls Gone Wild four years ago – she created 7 full length sex tapes including lesbian action).  She will probably write a book.  She’ll probably sell rights for a TV movie on Lifetime.  Aside from the $5,000 an hour she got from fucking Spitzer, she will make more money out of this than I will in 2 decades, and I already make significantly more than the median income in the United States.

What did Elliot Spitzer do to deserve forced resignation?  Paid a whore.

What did Ashley Dupre do to reap levels of fame and wealth unattainable to 99.99% of the American popluation?  She whored herself out.

This is the perfect example of what is totally broken about America that we would allow a common whore, who even optimistically is at best an 8, to become glamorized as a celebrity (even if it is only for a few fleeting weeks) while an intelligent, hardworking, ambitious man who has spent a lifetime in public service is driven from his career and put to shame for participating in exactly the same transaction?

There are two throbbing issues here:

1.  The Double Standard: aside from the fact that these two individuals have received diametrically opposed public reaction for a scandal in which they were both equally involved, the shame is placed on the wrong person!  If anyone should be criticized, it’s the hooker, not the john.  At the very minimum, it should be equal justice – both hookers and johns can be arrested and charged (whoring and soliciting, respectively).  Not only that, but this really speaks volumes about the free pass our society gives to girls no matter how ridiculous their behavior.  Dupre?  Oh, she’s just young (and somehow a victim).  Spitzer?  He should know better.

Why is it that men are always the ones who should know better?  I’ve said this before – every time a woman gets a new right, it somehow translates into a new responsibility for men.  Girls now have equal opportunity to join the work environment, and now men have a responsibility to completely guard their behavior around these girls because we might hurt their feelings.  We have to curb any and all criticism no matter how accurate or how required they are to meet business goals because they’ll file complaints with HR.  It’s sad to think that women are so abjectly clueless about how every iota of equality men afford women is exactly that – it’s equality that is given to them by us, and as quickly as it can be given it can be taken away.  We coddle them and let them think they are equal, but once a man reaches a certain age past which female development has long ceased, it becomes plain as day to any man with a brain that we will always be on top for so many reasons.

What’s so hysterical is that this Spitzer case makes this fact plain as day to anyone with a functioning brain, and yet the vast majority of people don’t make the connection.  I’ll say it again: we expect the man, Spitzer, not to pay for sex.  The whore who sold her pussy?  She’s getting book deals and millions of dollars.  We expect nothing of this girl.  She gets a free pass to whore herself out.  I’ve heard news stories about Ashley being abused as a child (i.e., her stepdad wouldn’t buy her a new Porsche after she crashed her last one – woe is she).  Have you heard anyone question Spitzer’s abused childhood?

The only argument against what I’m saying here is to point out that it’s not the fact that he’s a man and she’s a woman, but rather it’s the fact that he’s the governor of New York and she’s not.  Fair point.  But I would simply argue that it wouldn’t have mattered – as long as it’s a famous man.  And that’s only because we wouldn’t all hear about it otherwise.  He could have been the governor of New York, a famous sports star, a film and televison actor, you name it – he’ll be the one to take the rap and people everywhere will scramble to find an excuse for why the girl was “driven to prostitution.”

2. Our culture is not properly chastising this girl.  On the very same front page of any newspaper or online news source we’ll see both this whore’s face and stories about communities in horror over nude teenage picture swapping.  Again, what the fuck do you expect?  In a society where not only is any criticism of this whore lip service done mostly by men, but a whore can become ridiculously rich if she sleeps with a famous man, why would we be horrified that 13, 14, 15 year-old girls are looking at their pussies and thinking, “this is my ticket?“ 

One of the major reasons that men will always monopolize the power in this world is something we have always known: the only thing a girl needs to succeed in life is her cunt.  Ashley Dupre has proven this fact and rubbed it in our faces.  Men need so much more.  Since we men are born knowing that if we want to make something of ourselves we need skills, drive, ambition, effort, etc., we are more prone to spend time developing those.  We take things like our jobs very seriously because it’s all we have.  We don’t have a magic box between our legs to fall back on when times get tough.

Whoring is a giant cultural taboo partly because it exposes this fact (and partly because it diverts a man’s money from his household to a whore, and partly because it spreads disease, and partly because most women will only whore as a last resort so a girl who does it voluntarily is obviously demented, etc.. the list goes on).

And it’s very obvious by the attention paid to this Ashley Dupre slutbag that our culture no longer devalues prostitution.  Expect the numbers of celebrity nudes, celebrity sex tapes, and politician sex scandals to sky rocket.  The daughers of America have just been taught a valuable lesson: want fame and fortune?  Fuck a politician and expose him through some masked third party.  No one will bother to ask or care whether you exposed him or not.

If you’re a young whore thinking this might be a good life choice, you should probably do it now while it’s hot.  After a few more whores become famous by ruining the political careers of our nation’s leaders, the news media will get bored and find some new cultural pillar to destroy.

Teenage Amateur Pornography

I grew up in the 1990′s when webcam were new.  Even then, I can’t tell you how many teenage girls I met online who were more than willing to send pictures of themselves naked or masturbate on their webcams.  Once a girl was so desperate to show off her goods that she straddled a flatbed scanner because it was the only digital photographing device she owned.

In the 1990′s, teenage internet whoring was out of the media spotlight.  As Sebastian would put it, webcams were “for geeks and pedophiles.”  Webcams were also for every teenaged male with any computer savvy.  They were a great way to get free virtual sex with girls in your peer group without any social consequences.

There have been a rashed of “horrified” communities in the news lately that are so “horrified” that kids as young as 12 are trading nudes of themselves taken with camera phones.

Let’s review the facts.  I’ve outlined them in this easy-to-follow timeline:

1950: 99% of adult western women wouldn’t submit to nude photographing

1960: what’s this?  “marijuana” you say?  interesting…

1965: what’s this?  birth control, you say?  interesting…

1970: let’s have wild unprotected sex with multiple partners.  let’s make love, not war.

1975: women are “finally free to express their sexual independence from men”.  women have libidos too; let’s prove it.

1980: what’s this?  “cocaine” you say?  interesting…

1990: vagina monologues is drafted by manhating butch lesbian in studio apartment in soho after months of unsuccessful broadway auditions

1995: the internet is invented.

january 2, 1995: teenage girls begin taking off their shirts on webcams.

january 3, 1995: teenage girls begin taking off their panties on webcams.

2000: teenage girls begin blowing teenage boys on camera phones.

2006: community is horrified when camera phone footage of teenage sex is leaked on youtube.com.

2008: allusions to leaked teenage porno populate front pages of every major news source since hillary clinton is fucking boring

I find it so hysterical that the same parents who championed free love in 1970 are so horrified that in 2008 their teenage daughters are not only engaging in free love but are also filiming it and trading the clips to their friends like Pokemons.

What the hell did you think was going to happen?  Oh… that’s right… I went ahead and used the term think again… great.

I’m no fool.  If 12 year-olds are trading full frontal nude shots on camera phones in 2008, by 2028, our daughters and her friends will probably socialize by having bisexual orgies.

That is, unless something happens in a big way.  That something is a concetrated effort by echo boomers to put a stop to this horse shit and raise our kids right.

I’ve told my girlfriend in no uncertain terms that no teenage daughter of mine will ever have access to a digital camera of any kind if I can possibly avoid it.  If she gets a camera phone, I’ll put epoxy over the lens.  I will keep our digital cameras under lock and key.

Some things are universally human.  The sexual drive to fuck like rabbits is one of them.  The culturual instinct to restrict that behavior is another.

Free love is the worst thing that has happened to our society in 2000 years.  Thanks a lot, bitches.

Socialist Soviet Republic of Montgomery County

I hate Montgomery County, Maryland.  I hated it so much that I spent nearly all of my monthly income to move away from it.  Far, far away.  Unfortunately I still work in Montgomery Country, Maryland (Rockville, specifically).  A small piece of me dies whenever I’m in this horrible twisted shithole of a place.

Let’s review the facts.

1.  There are no liquor stores.

This one blows my mind considering the fact that Montgomery County is on the cuff of D.C. and is filled with lawyers, politicians, and assholes who work for lawyers and politicians.  And we all know how much these people like scotch.  There are a tiny number of hard liquor licenses available in Montgomery County – it’s almost all beer and wine – which increases the Yuppiness factor by about 10 right off the bat.  And of course, we all know that this tight-assed liquor policy is actually just racism in disguise., which I’ll get to in a second. 

2.  The Yuppiness Factor is gigantic.

When driving in Montgomery County, take a minute to count the number of luxury SUVs on the roads driven by women who look like the wives of rich men.  The housing market is one of the most inflated on the planet.  Who the fuck would want to live anywhere near Rockville Pike?  That place is a congested commercialized scab on the ass of America, but the houses on either side of it, even ones overlooking metro tracks, cost at least $500,000.  There are condos – condos, mind you, not town homes – in a building local to nothing overlooking the beautiful scenic Rt. 270 that are going for $780,000 for a 1,500 square foot condo.  Real estate on the right hand of Jesus Christ doesn’t go for that kind of money when you consider the cost-benefit ratio: huge cost, awful location, terrible view, smog pollution and noise 24×7, sharing a building with other assholes who have no idea how to spend the hundreds of thousands of dollars they don’t deserve from doing some talentless job like law or wealth management.  But they have a gym on the 17th floor with a few Ikea Exerbikes, so I guess that’s worth the money.

This real estate price gouging is not unique to real estate.  Everything in Montgomery County costs 3 times what it’s worth, and it costs 1.5 times what it costs in the counties surrounding it to the north and east.  And why?  Why else?  To keep the darkies out, of course, ipso facto:

3.  Montgomery County is a passive-aggressively racist.

As much as lawyers and politicians like scotch, those darkies love them some malt liquor.  Everyone knows the black man can’t function without getting wasted off his ass all the time, so if you keep liquor stores out of the county, the negroes will live somewhere else too, like for example, Prince Georges county right next door.  As they say in MoCo, not in my backyard! 

Look, if you’re going to be racist, just follow the lead of many counties in the south and the entire state of Arkansas and just say so.  This passive-aggressive racism is lame as hell.  P.S., Asians are fine with us. 

4.  Montgomery County’s roads are a fascist nightmare

I take Wootton Parkway to get from the Darnestown/Shady Grove area to the other side of 355.  Why?  Because it is the only road that isn’t miles and miles out of the way.

Wootton Parkway has a high school on it.  Okay, fine, it’s 25mph for a stretch (it’s otherwise 35mph).

In the 2 years that I have been driving on Wootton, the following has taken place:

• Red light cameras have been installed on 8 out of the 15 or so traffic lights on the road total.  I don’t pass through most of these since they are past my office.
• One of those stupid solar powered radar signs that flash when your speed exceeds the posted limit was installed on either end of the strip right in front of the school.  There are crosswalks for the kiddies, so this is acceptable.
• The MoCo Worker’s Party petitioned the tax payers of MoCo to fund speed trap cameras in front of the school after the patsy radar sign did nothing to deter speeding between the hours of 5pm and 9pm, in other words, hours and hours after 99% of school children would be anywhere near the school.  The speed trap cameras charge you $40 if they catch you moving faster than 25mph in that zone.  You are informed that you have been charged by MoCo by a nicely enveloped letter containing a photograph of your car speeding.  Normally this could very easily be defeated simply by claiming that someone stole your car but returned it to you before you notified the police.  Since I am innocent until proven guilty, the prosecutor would have to prove that I am lying.  Since he neither could prove that nor would he waste the money, he doesn’t.  But just try using that defense against a traffic judge in MoCo.  That fascist bastard won’t get a raise unless he gets more revenue from these tickets so of course he upholds them every time despite the fact that this is an egregious violation of our rights.  Fortunately MoCo, 90% of its residents spend $40 a week on Starbucks so they laugh it off and pay the fine.
• One of those stupid solar powered radar signs that flash when your speed exceeds the posted limit was installed about 2 miles away from the school on the corner of a housing development that has a crosswalk to the other side of the street, which happens to contain a park.  This particular sign starts flashing when your speed is 30mph even though the posted limit is 35mph.   Everyone, and by everyone I mean ex-trophy wives of rich men in luxury SUVs, slam on their breaks when they see the flashing sign and reduce their speed to 25mph despite the fact that the limit is 35mph.  This behavior requires me to take any or all of the following actions: tailgate luxury SUV extremely closely until it resumes the speed of 35mph, usually about 100 yards down the road where the speed limit sign clearly indicates 35mph, flash high beams aggressively, especially at night, or sit on car horn until driver resumes 35mph speed.

How did all of this happen?  Bitchy parents with nothing to do, bitchy single mothers who like to jog with their strollers during rush hour, and divorced men who walk their dogs as an excuse to interact with sweaty spandex wearing bitchy single mothers desperately trying to get back into shape to attract a divorced sugar daddy have all complained that people “drive too fast on Wootton Parkway.”  We drive 35mph, and it’s the only goddamned road from Shady Grove to 355.  Maybe you should have thought about that before you bought your $1,000,000 3 bedroom in a development out of which you have no fucking prayer of making a left at 8:45am because we’re all trying to get to work to pay taxes to fund the very radar devices that oppress us.

5.  Montgomery County lets men into women’s bathrooms

This is the final nail in a long line of nails in the coffin of MoCo’s credibility.  Mike Adams led me to this one - stunning.  Apparently the transsexual “community” has decided that they are discriminated against because shemales still have to use men’s bathrooms.  This probably tips off the straight guy they’re flirting with at the bar that something is hideously amiss when she has to slip into the men’s room.  In an effort to eliminate this discrimination, which is clearly MoCo’s top priority (that and installing new speed trap cameras on major thoroughfares populated by assholes), MoCo passed a law that makes it legal for pretty much anyone to enter a woman’s bathroom at any time.  Here is the anti-discrimination text which defines which criteria cannot be used to stop a person from entering a bathroom or shower marked as “women only”:

 “An individual’s actual or perceived gender, including a person’s gender-related appearance, expression, image, identity, or behavior, whether or not those gender-related characteristics differ from the characteristics customarily associated with the person’s assigned sex at birth.”

So all I need to do is claim that I self-identify as a woman, regardless of the fact that I neither look, behave, or act with any of the “gender-related characteristics customarily associated with [my] assigned sex at birth” which happens to be male.  I’m really glad MoCo passed this bill.  It’s hard to imagine that anyone could do anything to make MoCo a worse place to live or work, but leave it to the assholes in charge to make purgatory even shittier.  Here are the consequences of this bill:

• Men will start using women’s bathrooms because for 30 or 40 seconds they really did gender-identify as women, scout’s honor.  The number of cases of men with multiple personalities reported in MoCo will skyrocket.  Most of these men will be convicted or suspected sex offenders who coincidentally have exactly 2 personalities: the first is their normal self, but the second is a lesbian female personality who has two interests.  The first is urination.  The second is photography and cinema.
• Women will start using men’s bathrooms when theirs are crowded (always).  Men will no longer be able to ever take shits and many women will descend into the vulgar, crude, and sometimes erotic habit of learning to piss in urinals.  I foresee many spontaneous explosion at bars and clubs.  The cause: men will have to restrain from farting loudly in the men’s room because their dates will just come in with them.  Not wanting to wait in the long female/shemale/sex-offender bathroom line, she will just come with her date to the men’s room.  Why not?  If shemales can pull a switcheroo, then so can totally straight women.  After all, anything less would be discrimination based on birth-assigned gender.  And she’ll always seem to want to go with her date because even though like a good little generation 2 feminist she’ll never admit that she won’t feel safe without a man committed to her safety in the men’s room, she won’t feel safe without a man committed to her safety in the men’s room.
• The number of rapes, sexual assualts, and hidden toilet camera porn sites will jump through the fucking roof and we’ll have only the dumbass liberals to blame.

I really do understand this new legislation.  This is only one of the most fundamental and basic human traditions that nearly every culture throughout natural history has adopted.  I can see why this has to be changed.  No progressive regime would be caught dead following traditions that are thousands of years old.  Do we live in caves?  Please, this is 2008.  We are totally above using putting heiroglyphics on doors indicating who’s allowed to enter.  40 years ago blacks couldn’t drink from white-only drinking fountains.  Today, it’s unacceptable that we partition any space – water fountain, restaurant, bathroom, on any criteria that separates people, for example, “birth-assigned gender”.  I mean, what if we changed the man and woman icons with a cross and a Star of David?  That would be totally illegal, right?

Even in indigenous Brazilian tribes where the girls think nothing of dancing in ceremonies totally ass naked, they still have a separate area to crap than men, or at the very least they do it at different times.  Why?  Because we men are animals.  While most civilized men are above rape period, there’s a surprisingly large number of men (i.e., men who haven’t had sex in a long period of time, such as 8 days) who might find their moral obligation not to rape girls hard to obey when they’ve got a woman with her pants off in the stall next to them.  Haven’t the feminists been claiming that all men are rapists for 40 years?  I’ve got a great idea.  Give men access to a woman’s gym shower and let’s prove them right.

Fuck Montgomery County.  Thank God I live in Frederick.